Looking in the Mirror

Spiritual Revelations for those seeking Humanity in Humans ~~CordieB.

Archive for July, 2008

The Saddest Thing I’ve Ever Learned


Abuse by ~xchildofvasolinex on deviant ART

When I was a girl

I would sit and listen to my auntees

and other older woman talk

about having to marry men they did not love

and how they eventually "learned to love."

I thought that was about the saddest

thing that anyone could ever do;

to marry someone and have to "learn to love"

was, in my opinion, the most sadistic,

most saddest, existence I could imagine . . .

until I grew up and I married

a knight in shining armour . . .

who turned out to be

a nightmare in shining armour . . .

and I began to . . .

"Learn to Hate"

~Written by CordieB

P.S.  This is in the past. . . We divorced years ago. . .

For information on Domestic Violence, visit TallT’s Blog .  She, painfully, yet bravely, tells her story and reaches out to anyone who may be living in this sad and dangerous situation.  She is a trooper who also was able to bravely walk   run away and awaken from a nightmare in shining armour.

As I Was Going to See Saint I’s

 

Afro American Girl literally by ~madhatter-asylum on deviant ART

As I was going to see Saint I’s

I met a woman by big surprise!

Who shocked me when I realized

That she was not as saintly as she’d surmised

 

As I was going to see Saint I’s

I met a woman who’d cheated and lied

Who’d broken many promises in life . . .

and caused hearts to break; causing toil and strife

 

As I was going to see Saint I’s

I met a broken-hearted woman with blackened eyes

Who’d allowed destructive relationships to take its toll

On her body; her mind; damn near her soul!

 

As I was going to see Saint I’s

I met a woman with many nights of cries

Though many were brought upon herself . . .

she often blamed Saint Someone Else

 

As I was going to see Saint I’s

I soon become to realize

how Saint I’s choices help prophesize

her destiny and life’s Karmic reprise

 

As I was going to see Saint I’s

I begin to forgive past and future hurts and lies

I forgave Saint I’s for her saintly disguise

To Saints lack and fear, I gladly said my goodbyes

 

As I finally arrived to see Saint I’s

I met Saints Love , Forgiveness , Courage, Truth and Wise

Five beautiful spirits; in motion; yet spiritually still

These saints introduced me to Saint "Free Will "

 

As I was getting to better know Saint I’s

I became increasingly mesmerized by her changed demise

Forgiveness of self and others helped her to arrive and arise

Courage and Truth began to replace those fears and lies

Love began to clear up those bloodshot eyes . . .

 

In time Saint I’s lost her Saintly hood

Life started flowing like God intended it should

Her cup ran over with a cloudy, yet rainbowed sky

Thus, she dropped the Saint and became simply I

 

Love, Hatred, Courage, Fear, Truth and Lies . . . .

How many were going to see Saint I’s?

 

~Written by I (CordieB)

The Sands of Ebony Time

The Sands of Ebony Time, Photo Courtesy of CordieB and G; AKA GLove

The Sands of Ebony Time Shows on My Face
The bitter – sweetness of life and love leaves its trace
From whence an infant of purity and subtle innocence
To the ageless beauty of a woman’s essense
The lines shown around my deep brown eyes
Map a life of much laughter, joys and cries
My hands are wearing down like melten butter
From years of living love; caring for self and others

The expressions on my face reflect so clear
Wisdom and insight gained throughout the years
Living and loving through thick and thin
Embracing God’s grace and mercy of love within

Sharing my gift of love with countless souls
Experiencing the allness of life as time takes its toll
On the temporary shell for my spirit as life’s novel reveals
More mysteries for the heart; if my Creator so wills

Reeping the blessing of so many souls
Gracious of the puzzle that makes life whole
For me as the time passes so quickly it seems
Like only yesterday, I dreamth my very first dreams

As the sands of time harmonize with the winds of fate
that causes all soul’s shells to disinigrate and dissipate
but love and the inner soul survives, energizes and recreates
Thus the cycle of life recycles to invigorate . .

The newborne babe who starts life anew
Through his eyes and cries he reaches out to me and you.
In the eyes of the young we realize life’s wonders beginning again;
Awsomely, were all intricately weaved in a bigger plan . . .

To ensure that love for life continues on . . .
By sharing love, wisdom and knowlege when we inspire and pass on. . .
the Hands of Ebony Time’s blessed love-life seed
To all kindred spirits whose souls we feed.

~Written By CordieB.

PS.  If you read this on my pictorial blog; it has changed somewhat.  Of course I didn’t change one of my most dearest reader’s favorite line in the poem.  I write this to remind us that although age takes its toll on the body, love and time makes the spirit stronger indeed.  Pass on your love and embrace the love of others to ensure that your spirit remains strong yet gentle.  For one sweet day when the spirit’s shell is ready for rest, you will find peace, joy and comfort in the love you’ve given and received. 

Peace, Light and Love, CordieB.

Ophelia

A poet friend of mine, Paisley,   introduced me to Cynthia, who’s blog, epiphany: amour habito intus vos, graces the blog world with luscious “poemflesh ” every day, ( and will continue to do so until the epiphany 2009 ).  Cynthia recently challenged her readers to create what she has christened an “ophelia poem ”.. her description of which, is as follows:
"seven to fourteen words, 2 lines, line 1 is the shortest. love, melancholia, romance, erotic, with a slightly dark edge."

Here is my version of the "Ophelia Poem."

Under the moonlight, she seduced him . . .
with her lips . . .tempting him to bite into her red painted succulence.

~CordieB.

If you are reading this, consider yourself tagged.

P.S.  This really did happen on my first date with G.  LoL

The Spirit Named Desire


Embracing Life’s Allness, Courtesy of Cordie B.

Who is this Spirit named Desire

That heats our soul like burning fire?

Her sisters are Passion and Inspire!

I’m told her brother’s name is Hope;

And with these three we learn to cope

When we feel we’ve reached the end of our rope.

What is this Spirit- deep and purple, red

That quinches our thirst; our souls be fed

That in her vanquish; leaves us cold and dead

I’ve heard she’s simply a trick of the mind

That dulls reality; keeps us blind

of life’s true meaning for which we can not find

Without a Desire to learn the secrets of all life-kind

I am certain that Desire is real

I can’t see her; but I know I feel

Her presense in my every being

When I’m loving life and all its zeal

Once she almost vanished from my soul

I felt so empty; I felt so cold

I barely had the Desire to live

But she did not falter; in she would not give

And so Desire, she faught for me!

To grasp onto my reality and truely see

To Desire life enough to endure the pain

To Desire to love and inspire again

To Desire to help my fellow man

To Desire to hear the Robin sing

To Desire little things and the joy they bring . . .

To Desire to watch the children play

To Desire to see another day

To Desire to smell the lovely red rose

To Desire to play in the fallen snows

To Desire to feel the warmth of sun on my skin

To Desire to feel the breeze of gentle winds

To Desire to sing a beautiful melody

To Desire to write a poem or sometimes three

To Desire to watch the sun rise once more

From the sands of time on an open shore

To Desire to watch my lover sleep

To Desire to cry; To Desire to weep

To Desire to see the moon and stars

To Desire to one day see the the end of wars

To Desire to will myself to walk

To Desire to read; To Desire to talk

To Desire to cry; To Desire to moan

To Desire to sometimes want to be left alone

To Desire to shout; To Desire to sing

To Desire to embrace God’s love in everything

Oh yes! Sweet Desire, she faught for me!

Without Desire I would have ceased to be

As long as my true Desire is not for death

She will lend herself unto me in another breath

But one sweet day; I know not when or where

I will Desire to move from this life without a care

I will Desire to leave my body and move on free

To meet up with with kindred souls in eternity

I simply pray Desire will come along with me

~By CordieB

Written for The Angel, Enreal – She often inspires my words through her words. Thanks Angel Enreal!

 

 

 

 

Dreams Deferred

Contemplating – Courtesy of G and Cordieb.  Share and Share Alike!
What happens to our dreams deferred?
Unacted upon desires that are seldom heard . . .
Do they wash away with the crimson tide . . .
By the sands of time which can’t be defied?

What happens to our dreams alas. . .
which we sadly allow to simply pass. . .
or hold at bay for a better day
Do they await our return or simply fade away?

What happens when we put our dreams on a shelf?
Do they wait patiently for us to find ourselves
Or do they float away to an unknown dreamland
Where dreams deferred converge and reemerge once again . . .

In the heart and soul of another child-like spirit . .
with the heart to reclaim our neglected dream’s merit
Who will take the forsaken dream and caress its face
And abandon not its saving grace

Allow not our dream to become deferred
Unnurtured; Seldom talked to; Barely heard. . .
For without our love, passion, and concern
Our dream will whither; thus our heart will burn and yearn. . .

Yet the dream will one day find another
Who will embrace that dream like a new found lover
And the dream will lovingly reciprocate
But sadly for us, it will be too late;
Yet to ease our minds, we will call it fate.

~Written Especially for my Daughter Crystal and all you other dreamers out there, by CordieB

 

This Spirit Resides in God’s Grace and Self! Another Spiritual Riddle –


Photo courtesty of G. and CordieB; "I Dare You to Let Go" -Under a Creative Commons License.

On the playground you would dare me to fall back into your arms;

But always you caught me in the nick of time from all harms;

I thought we’d be friends forever; I felt so safe and secure

But then one somber day, I wasn’t quite as confident and sure.

 

I looked around and it seemed you had passed me on by

I asked myself many times what did I do; was it I?

Seemed you’d snatched that security blanket away from my midst;

But I knew not why I had been so eagerly dismissed.

 

I did not realize that you were really still there. . .

But in a different aspect, for which I was not yet aware.

I grew into puberty still needing you; I craved for your being;

I became angry, sad, confused; emotionally fleeting and bleeding.

 

Indeed, there were instances where you might come back to me once more

But, I could not allow your presence to once again steal my joy;

I ran away each time I felt you were close on my heals. . .

I turned cold and hid my feelings with false smiles and ideals.

 

Then one day in June on a warm beautiful spring day,

You looked into my eyes and melted the icy fears away;

I thought you were all I needed and I gave into you once more . . .

We were one and mighty; to the top of the heaven’s we’d soar!

 

Then one amber evening as we were flying I smiled and looked around

And to my astonishment and dismay, you were not to be found!

Low and behold I quickly fell hard, straight back to the ground

In my fear to loose gravity – I became imperiously bound . . .

 

To certainties; no more would I venture my heart and soul

I thought I knew the meaning of life; I held tight all control!

I didn’t realize that you had never really left me completely;

But only changed forms; although disguised ever so discreetly.

 

I didn’t know that you changed forms to teach me the lessons. . .

In life that I needed to receive all the blessings. . .

that I would partake and share in the bounties and adversities

Of living, loving and giving of myself through all actualities.

 

But one sweet December, during a cold winter’s snow

I looked out the window and what would you know?

I saw in the glistening of the snow drifts so wondrously clear,

The tracks of your being, forever so near!

 

I looked at the tracks of my life in that opulent snow,

and for the first time in my life, I learned to let go!

I realized that through all challenges, I always survived!

You had always been there in one form or another as I thrived!

 

Who is this Spirit that changes with time?

Disguised in familiarity and strangers; bad and good times . . .

I realized that no matter what happens, I will go on

Although family, friends, or circumstances decide to move on . . .

 

I knew that this Spirit resided in God’s Grace and Love for Self

With strength and endurance, in spite of all else . . . .

I knew that no matter, I could always revamp–readjust

I’d finally embraced you wholly, you are . . . .  (Click below for Answer!)

Read the rest of this entry »