Looking in the Mirror

Spiritual Revelations for those seeking Humanity in Humans ~~CordieB.

Archive for romance

The Darker Side of Love ~Part I

Blue Heaven Michelle, By CordieB

Blue Heaven Michelle, By CordieB

This is part 1 of a short story that I am writing.  As I am making this stuff up as I go, I have no clue what the end will bring.  Since it is to be a short story and it is a gift to all of you for Hallows Eve. . . I promise to conclude it by Midnight Halloween – that is if the globlins don’t get me before then.   Hope you like the beginning  . . . Blessings to all.

The Darker Side of Love Part I  ~Written by CordieB ©2008

I stared out of the window of my second floor duplex – going back in time to when I first met Orph. Time had passed so fast . . . so much had occurred. I had met him soon after my divorce 19 years back, while pretending to browse through books at the local library. My mom had warned me to not jump into a relationship so fast, but his charisma and mystery literally swept me off my feet.

I was suffering from loneliness and an extreme case of low self esteem. I had told myself that I would never get into another relationship again – I would concentrate on my non existent career and education. I would write a book, join a poetry club . . . there were so many things I planned with my new found freedom. But as always, my plans were only grandeur dreams. I would visit the library just to have some place to go – to watch people who appeared safe and, above else, distant. My self esteem was so low after the divorce that I could not bear to converse and socialize with friends or family. I had slowly crawled into a shell of which, although I wanted out . . . could not muster the energy or courage to do so.

I had seen him many times before in the library. I had envisioned us being lovers, walking through parks . . . making love in dark unknown places. But my protective shell was so dense, I had not the ability to strike up the courage to even look at him for more than a few seconds; yet alone speak to him.

I had seen him when he first walked in the library. He wore all black, including a black trench and a black brim hat. He would always sit his hat on the same table each time he came into the library. He always searched in the mystic section of books.

I usually stayed in research – but at times I would venture into the mystic section; today was one of those days. I saw him from the corner of my eyes. He was coming down the aisle I was on. I quickly grasped a book from the shelf and began pretending to read it. I felt his shadow behind me. Oh my goodness, he had stopped right behind me and was no more than an inch away from my back, my behind. He leaned over my shoulder, softly pressing his chest to my back, and whispered into my ears . . . very lowly and sensually, "I am Orpheus, follow me." I could feel his warm breath on my neck. I felt like I was about to melt, yet I stood motionless for at least 15 seconds. I turned around only to see him walking slowly, yet swiftly out of the library, brim in tow. . .

There was an essence about him . . . like a trail of opiated smoke, that made me follow him that fateful evening. I was more than willing to accept whatever consequences came from following this dark, strikingly mesmerizing, stranger. In fact, no matter what I told myself, I could not help my self. He was like a mysterious magnet, and I metal fragments unable to withstand the magnetism.

Orpheus continued walking down the dark sidewalk. Although he never looked back, I knew he knew I was behind him. He continued to walk at a slow to medium pace – assuring that he would remain in my view. Finally, he turned into an old abandoned looking mansion that looked like it could have been used for the Adam’s Family or the Munster’s. As I came upon the spooky mass building, I hesitated about going in.
Finally, I was beginning to regain my senses. What on earth was I doing? Here I was following a strange man, whom I’d never officially met, named, of all the crazy names, Orpheus—or so he says. I stood outside of the fence and looked up at the huge window facing the street – not knowing whether to hurry and walk back or to go into the mansion. I sat there for what seemed like hours, unable to move either way. Finally, Orpheus came to the window and motioned me inside. It was the beginning of a love affair that most only experience in fiction. . . .

Orpheus made love to me in one of the many rooms of the abandoned mansion before even speaking another word to me. I could not believe I was making love to a total stranger – named Orpheus. The passion within me was overwhelming. He touched and caressed me in a manner which I’d never experienced my entire life. After hours of making love, Orpheus finally laid still, pulling me close to him.

He whispered "I want you forever, will you marry me."

"Marry, you; I don’t even know you. You don’t even know my name."

"I’ve already given you a name. I named you long ago. Your name is Charna, eternal lover of Orpheus."

I begin to laugh. I felt as though I had known Orph all of my life. I begin to call him Orph for short . . . it was like a feeling of familiarity I had never experienced with any other man. I knew at that time that I would love him forever; although I didn’t know anything about him, really.

"Charna is a very lovely name. I wish my mom would have named me Charna for real."

Orph sat up and stared into my eyes, holding my hand. "And so, Charna it is and you shall be my wife." We shall marry at the first full moon at the river of No Trespassing.

"Where is the River of No Trespassing?" I enquired.

"Orph laughed. It’s part of the James River Park, there is a sign at the entry which reads "No Trespassing after Dark."

"Ahh . . ." I giggle. "That’s cute."

I looked into his piercing dark eyes, knowing in my mind, that yes, I would marry him, although I knew it was crazy, I could not refuse anything Orph asked. It was a strange feeling. I was possessed.

Little did I know that fateful evening that I had been lured by Orpheus, Lord of the Night, and had become enchanted by his aurora. As time passed, Orph introduced me to all his night friends – those who lived a dark life as he did. I was introduced to wizards, witches, fairies and of course vamps. Soon before we wed, Orph confessed to me that he was a vamp, although I had suspected so much. I asked very few questions when we first met, as I was blindly charmed by his presence. Anything he told me would have been just fine; it would not have mattered.

Orph promised me that he would never bite me. He loved me beyond anyone he had experienced in all his 189 years on earth. He did not want to curse me with eternal earthly dwelling. I personally had thought it to be a blessing to be able to live eternally and everyone I knew other than the other vamps searched for eternal youth. However, Orph insisted that with every blessing there is a curse. "The bigger the blessing, the bigger he curse," he would often say.

My mother didn’t know that Orph was a vamp; but she was mesmerized with his presence, as were all of my family and friends. Everyone was curious as to what Orph did for a living. We decided it best to tell everyone that Orph was a manager for a local fast food store than to go into details of how he had survived for over 180 years.

In the beginning years, the fun and excitement of living the vamp life was cool. I would work during the day; while he of course slept. In the night we’d have wild parties in the seemingly abandoned house that came to life magically each night. Witches, warlocks and vamps from all over town would come each evening to party, drink and be merry. Orph had friends who worked in local blood banks who provided enough blood to all the vamps to enable them not to kill for survival, at least not on a regular basis.

As time passed, I became increasingly self conscious about my aging process, as Orph remained trapped in time and eternally youthful. I didn’t feel like the youthful young woman whom had met Orph that fateful evening some 20 odd years ago. Orph insisted that my beauty was ageless and that he loved me more each day. Yet, as his group of underworld friends continued the saga of underworld partying, enriched with sex and youth – and I was noticeably aging, in more ways than one – I became extremely bitter, detached and even perhaps evil; yes evil is what I was slowing descending to.

I insisted Orph bite me, as I was aging at what seemed to me as rapid speed. I wanted what youth I still possessed to be encapsulated. However, Orph refused my request. He insisted that I remain mortal; that it was the only way. I did not understand his selfishness. I had planned to even have an affair with one of his vamp friends . . . just so that I could be bitten. . . .

Continuation – Part II

Day Dreaming

Photo courtesy of khalid almasoud under a Creative Commons License
I feel I want to escape today
to a place of quietness; unknown – faraway
to a place where everyone are strangers
but life is free of present dangers

Today I wish I could just simply go
To a private beach where the warm winds blow
To a place where the seagulls fly free in the air
Where tranquil anonymity is everwhere

I’d love to gaze at the moon by the sea
Enhale the vast beauty of eternity
Make love to a stranger on the white sands of time
Laugh with the children and sing children’s rhymes

Paint a picture of love on a landscape of peace
Where people feel love from the west to far east
Gaze at the sunrise while laying on the grass
Completely nude; as the wind softly kisses my ass

Alas, I’m not in that magical place by the sea
But it’s magical to temporarily escape from normality
Where I’m at peace with all; and all is free
The daydream is over; back to reality

Written by CordieB.






A poet friend of mine, Paisley,   introduced me to Cynthia, who’s blog, epiphany: amour habito intus vos, graces the blog world with luscious “poemflesh ” every day, ( and will continue to do so until the epiphany 2009 ).  Cynthia recently challenged her readers to create what she has christened an “ophelia poem ”.. her description of which, is as follows:
"seven to fourteen words, 2 lines, line 1 is the shortest. love, melancholia, romance, erotic, with a slightly dark edge."

Here is my version of the "Ophelia Poem."

Under the moonlight, she seduced him . . .
with her lips . . .tempting him to bite into her red painted succulence.


If you are reading this, consider yourself tagged.

P.S.  This really did happen on my first date with G.  LoL

Few are able to resist me – once my flowery opium-fragrant mist is inhaled – A Spiritual Riddle

Photo derived from Showee and is licensed under a creative commons.

I was born long ago on a distant hillside by a beautiful shade tree

Or perhaps by a river under the sunset or on a sandy beach with a deep blue sea

I was created in bliss to demolish man’s selfish ways and give an alternate view of their false reality.

I was born in the eyes of a man and a woman; perchance Venus and Mars, or perhaps Adam and Eve.

Their first glances into each other’s translucent eyes released my spirit; set me free!


I gave them the spirit to bring forth life to new generations through each other;

I disguised the pain of intercourse into intense pleasure; oh! how they clung to each other!

I extended great cacoethes and courage like none they had ever known.

They actually wanted to help each other though all obstacles and life’s unknown!


I masked their selfishness so they would work together to overcome universal elements;

I was borne to enable them to combine there strengths; forget self-discriminates;

But I had been contained so long, that I lost control, as soon as their glances set me free.

I easily took over these poor humans’ hearts and minds and completely distorted their reality;

I wanted to test them and myself to see just how far I could take them; how strong I could be.

I found that I was limited by my father, time, and my mother, space, they soon tamed and admonished me!


Even today, my badness feels so good, it releases euphoric dopamine;

My power so intoxicating – I can be your worst enemy or your best friend;

My tales are so captivating, I can make a wrong man do right and a right woman do wrong.

So addictive is my essence, I can make one come home early or stay out all night long. (whew!)


Few have been able to resist me – once my flowery, opium-fragrant mist is inhaled;

I’m so irresistible – there are very few obstacles for which I can’t prevail;

I’ve provided inertia to win wars, climb mountains; cross many lands and seas;

I have the venomous poison of a serpent and the sweet sting of a thousand honeybees!

(oh my!)

I’m the secret to the fountain of youth; yet my fountain can be limited;

By the humdrum of ennui , my aforementioned parents and familiarity unlimited;

I build a tolerance of such – it takes more of me to keep my victims high;

Until I’m simply not enough to keep my subjects flying wildly into unlimited skies;

So they shed their wings and suddenly they fall from sister grace that kept them suspended;

In the clouds of unlimited possiblities. Sadly, their glorious illusionary trip has ended.


But if you’re smart or lucky, you’ll invite my oldest sister, love,  into your heart;

She’s intelligent and compassionate, reality and illusion she easily distinguishes apart.

She embodies strength that’s enduring, though more supbtle than my dying passion;

She’s not a trend; she’s got class and opulence- her style is never out of fashion.


But if ever you need me to cultivate your desires, rejuvinate your passion, and negate your trust –

Close your eyes, take me in; devour me; but remember! in a few seasons I will turn into star dust;

Hopefully my loving and gracious sisters will save you from the emptiness I’ll leave upon your yearning bust;

I am the young, beautiful, and captivating, yet short lived sister of grace and love; I am (click below for answer)

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