Looking in the Mirror

Spiritual Revelations for those seeking Humanity in Humans ~~CordieB.

Forgive Your Mother ~Iyanla Vanzant

 ©2008 *DarkHunterWolf


Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about my mother. My mother passed away in 1980 and I never really got the chance to tell her how much I loved her.     She suffered a massive heart attack soon after we had an argument and I had left the house.  I hope you find these words as comforting as I found them when I first read them.


Forgive your mother!  Forgive her not for the things she has done or not done or for the things she said or has not said.  Forgive her because it is the only way to open your heart to self-forgiveness.  Forgive her not because you don’t have a right to be upset about the way she has handled some things in her life and in your life.  Forgive her not because she was right in making you feel wrong, or because she was wrong when she failed to acknowledge that you were right.  Forgive your mother because until you do, there will always be a void in your heart. 

Forgive your mother for the many, many times she was not the mother you wanted her to be.  Forgive her for the times she did not do things the way you needed them done.  Forgive your mother for not protecting you or speaking out in your behalf.  Forgive her for not guiding you in the right direction and for the times she totally lost her direction, dragging you along with her.  Forgive your mother for demanding things from you that she could not provide for you or for herself.  Forgive your mother whether or not she did anything wrong or bad to you.  Forgive her not because you are excusing whatever she did or however it affected you.  Forgive your mother because holding judgments against her has a devastating impact on your soul.  The judgments you hold will eventually break your heart.  Forgive your mother because the truth is, she did the best she could whether you would like to believe it or not. You may have been harboring judgments or negative opinions about your mother and the way she did or did not mother you.  

Just for today, forgive yourself for judging your mother.  Once you do, there will be nothing left to forgive her for.



  Dan wrote @

This is so true, and not only with mother’s.

  paisley wrote @

you know whay a timely piee this is for me.. and i thank you for offering it to me at a time when i really need it…..

  Author wrote @

Hi Cordie …

It’s been ages I know.

I’m sorry to hear about the rift with your Mom – and then her dying. That must have been / be so hard to handle. But this poem says it all. Forgive each other.

I’m going to give a copy of it to my sister. She hasn’t spoken to our mother for over 20 years (she took father’s side when they seperated). When my father died almost 3 years ago now, I hoped there would be a reconcilation … but no, she stubbornly refuses. My mother is willing but my sister is not; it’s so sad … such a waste. This year for the first time I got them to exchange Christmas cards – so perhaps there is hope …

Mother is old and in health … so I hope my sister heeds the words before it is too late.

By the way … your Mom knows you love her … somethings just don’t need spelling out.

Happy New Year dear friend.

  cordieb wrote @

@Dan. I know. . . it applies to all people doesn’t it. Blessings to you and yours. . .

@Paisley. . . I’m glad it gave you some comfort Pais . . . You know I worry about you sometimes . . . but I know you’ll be fine. . .Blessings. . .

@Author. I’m sorry that mom and sisterstill are not communicating. . . Yes. . .do give her a copy. I hope she decides to start communicating soon. . . it’s so painful when those we love distant ourselves, isn’t it? I’m keeping you and your family in my prayers. . .

@All. Wishing you a blessed New Years full of all the things you desired this year, if God so wills!

  SanityFound wrote @

I forgave my mother a long time ago but also at the same time I have come to realise that forgiveness doesn’t mean that I have to stay within her manipulation range… I owe myself too much to put myself through that again.

  Jessica erwin wrote @

My mother was a mentally ill drugaddictt who passed away and resented her and was disrespectful to her andil never forgive myself because you only get it one mother is in this life

Speak Now; but don't forever hold your peace!

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