Looking in the Mirror

Spiritual Revelations for those seeking Humanity in Humans ~~CordieB.

Archive for women

The Spirit of Forgiveness in Relationships

 The Spirit of Forgiveness in Relationships.  The spirit of forgiveness is harnessed within the spirit of love and compassion–the love characteristic in how we are taught that God loves us; the love for which most of us love our children, our family, and even our friends.  I’m not speaking of ego-based love, which is usually associated with being “in love,” or “passionate love.”   I’m speaking of the unconditional love we usually reserve for those who we put beyond our egos.  If we can find it in our heart to delve for this compassionate loving spirit for all those we love, especially those we are “in love with,” we will find it impossible not to forgive our beloved when we perceive they have hurt us.
Let us drop the stones of revenge and try a new approach... forgiveness - by Anit@_M

Let us drop the stones of revenge and try a new approach... forgiveness - by Anit@_M

 Now just because we forgive someone does not mean that we should allow anyone to continually hurt us. It means that we release them from the anger, resentment, and bitterness usually associated with an unforgiving spirit. It means that we love them, in spite of….. We love them whether they are in our lives or out of our lives…just like the father loves the prodigal son.  In order to conjure the spirit of forgiveness, we must first conjure the spirit of godly love and compassion. The spirit of godly love (agape) “compassionate love” will get us much further in our relationships than the spirit of being in love (eros) “passionate love.” You see in the spirit of eros love, with it’s swirling emotions and drama, we don’t actually actively love our beloved; rather, we find a desperate emotional need for our beloved to love us.  Although, the spirit of eros in a relationship is important, as it makes the relationship, exciting and exhilarating, these feelings ALWAYS dissipate unless they are accompanied by the spirit of agape love.

So if there is something that you feel unforgiving about your beloved today, try to summon the spirit of agape love and harness compassion, not only for your beloved, but also for yourself.    This is the spirit that 50-year old anniversaries are based upon!  You might be surprised how much better you will feel about your beloved, but even more so, about yourself!

Quote for the Day:   "There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love.” – Bryant H. McGill –

Later this week, I will give some ideas on harnessing the spirit of agape love….and I appreciate any input or comments you may have.  Until then…

Peace, Light and Love, CordieB.

A Spiritual Riddle – This spirit questioned right from wrong

Once upon a midnight blue
When you were me and I were you
And everything was tried and true
A dark spirit of our selves shown through

Though my eyes were brown and yours were blue
We at first appreciated the differences in hue
Why they were different, we had no clue
But embraced the beauty, through and through

Then on that midnight starry night
The gods awakened, causing stress and fright
Fear was something we had never known
Whether close together or all alone

We had all we ever needed or ever would
We could achieve anything that ever could
But on that dark night, once upon
The gods became bored of creation . . .
And so the games of life begun . . .

"How can we make them not forsee
That they are one and all as we?
How can we make them entertain
If they know that all are one and one’s the same?"

And so the god of unimpressed
Purposed to put forth a simple test
No pain was known to men back then
It was invented to see how best
Two lives would deal, and who would win
Pain produced me; thus I produced what you call sin.

Sadly the test failed miserably
Soon you became you and I became me
And so the gods changed destiny…
of how life was suppose to be.

This spirit often called out of name
Whose first intent was to bear blame
To make you look at me as I
And question differences to why
We were not exactly both the same

This spirit questioned right from wrong
And high from low and short from long
Discarded the weak, embraced the strong;
And though we both stood side by side
And knew no thing of foolish pride
This spirit borne proudness so great
That pride turned quickly into hate

As pain was never in the original plan;
For any living creature, including man.
Back then we were much like the beautiful tree
Who gives all of herself and love just to be . . .
And co-create in God’s creativity….
No pain is felt by the morning glory
Who each morning tells a most lovely story
The grass is not pained by the trample of man
She embraces the walks on her bountiful land

I’m told the Creation God attempted to correct this aweful woe
By instilling in animals, knowledge of everything they’d ever need or know…
But most humans remained retarded in their abilities
To  see the the forest through the trees…
For despite having knowledge to eliminate pain’s dark shadow
Pain’s offspring remained, Who am I . . . (Click below for Riddle Answer)

Read the rest of this entry »

Put Your Records On – Corinne Bailey Rae

—–
Quote of the Day. . .
You can never dance to the same beat as everyone; so you may as well dance your own beat…Just try not to step on anyone’s toes while you dance! CordieB.
—–

Three little birds, sat on my window.
And they told me I don’t need to worry.
Summer came like cinnamon
So sweet,
Little girls double-dutch on the concrete.

Maybe sometimes, we’ve got it wrong, but it’s alright
The more things seem to change, the more they stay the same
Oh, don’t you hesitate.

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

You’re gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow.

Blue as the sky, sunburnt and lonely,
Sipping tea in the bar by the roadside,
(just relax, just relax)
Don’t you let those other boys fool you,
Got to love that afro hair do.

Maybe sometimes, we feel afraid, but it’s alright
The more you stay the same, the more they seem to change.
Don’t you think it’s strange?

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

You’re gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow.

‘Twas more than I could take, pity for pity’s sake
Some nights kept me awake, I thought that I was stronger
When you gonna realise, that you don’t even have to try any longer?
Do what you want to.

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

Oh, you’re gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow
Three little birds, sat on my window.
And they told me I don’t need to worry.
Summer came like cinnamon
So sweet,
Little girls double-dutch on the concrete.

Maybe sometimes, we’ve got it wrong, but it’s alright
The more things seem to change, the more they stay the same
Oh, don’t you hesitate.

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

You’re gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow.

Blue as the sky, sunburnt and lonely,
Sipping tea in the bar by the roadside,
(just relax, just relax)
Don’t you let those other boys fool you,
Got to love that afro hair do.

Maybe sometimes, we feel afraid, but it’s alright
The more you stay the same, the more they seem to change.
Don’t you think it’s strange?

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

You’re gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow.

‘Twas more than I could take, pity for pity’s sake
Some nights kept me awake, I thought that I was stronger
When you gonna realise, that you don’t even have to try any longer?
Do what you want to.

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

Oh, you’re gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow

Open the Window ~By CordieB

Freedom by ©2008-2009 ~tatsu-subaru
Freedom by  ~tatsu-subaru   ©2008-2009

There is a certain sadness one often feels when one has to relinquish control;

The sadness of a dying past…allowing the present to replace the old;

There is a certain anguish in realizing our grasp must be broken;

Like watching our children leave the nest…our real fears are seldom spoken…

Because we know that some of our desires die with our letting go;

But let go we must …in order that love ones can blossom and grow

So, our selfish motivations to hold our love ones near…

is often miscommunicated with sadness, anguish and fear…

If we truly love someone we must encourage them to be

Uniquely themselves by  ensuring they are free…

from our insecurity based limitations which may hinder their flight…

Open the window!  Allow love ones to find their true light!
~~Written by CordieB

Walking In Sunshine, Through the Rain

Into each life some rain must fall…

yet the sun’s out there throughout it all…

though shadowed by dismal clouds of rain,

the sun abides; it still remains.

So often in our minds, we can not feel

what we don’t see; though it is real…

So often we fail to recognize the fact

that through the storm, the sun remains in tact;

Her energy works with the storms of life,

to nurture our souls; withstand the strife…

to help us grow in God’s domain…

to make us strong, endure the pain.

Like when a newborn babe first breaks the womb;

Emerginging into light, quickly she blooms…

Into an independent being, from love begotten…

Thus, pain of passage is soon forgotten!

So when the rains falls heavily upon my face,

I embrace God’s nurturing, cleansing grace;

I see his love peaking through the clouds;

I feel her essense as rain enshrouds;

I embrace his power; when lightning strikes…

when thunder roars through darkened nights;

I hold my own, I understand…

It’s all part of an intricate, master plan-

I know the sun is still out there…

She’s got my back, she’s most aware! everywhere!

And when the morning comes to view…

She carresses my being; life’s anewed.

Like nature freshened by morning’s dew.

~Written especially for you!  By CordieB

Superwoman

Dedicated to Sanity Found’s Nessa  who passed on this morning, and all the other Superwomen out there!

I heard this song for the first time this morning. I’m really surprized that I had not heard it previously, the Alecia Keys fan that I am! Oh my, this song brought back an array of memories to my heart. The times of struggle, the knowing of struggle my daughters, my friends, and of course my sisters out there have each day. I also realized that I have always been able to come out of any struggle; always a survivor, a superwoman. For that I am thankful! Always remember, we are all superwomen! We just need to remain strong and diligent; preserve our God given love and affection – for without this we would not be women – and certainly not super! So many times once we feel we have arrived, we forget from whence we came. This feeling, although an armour, keeps us from feeling and leaves us with a feeling of emptiness. Superwomen reach out to their sisters and brothers and help them in their times of need; Superwomen know from where their strength comes; Superwomen go through life’s bumps and may fall down but always get back up! And when Superwomen feel as if they can’t, along comes another Superwoman to remind them they can! Superwomen know that this too shall pass! Superwomen are not arrogant, not all knowing, and are always willing to listen to another’s point of view. They know that they can offer their gifts, and they can accept gifts of others with grace and dignity. Superwoman speak truth, wisdom and courage. Superwomen have forgiving spirits; because they know they have fallen short themselves at one point or another; and may fall again.  They realize life is such.  Superwomen know how to love completely without fear; and are thus fearless! So for all you Superwomen out there, I say – God bless!  Peace, Light and Love. . . CordieB. 

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African-American Grandmothers ~Written by CordieB

Cordieb and BabyCocoa

Cordieb and BabyCocoa

I’m reposting this due to an interesting blog posting I read today on RawDawgB’s blog, entititled, "When the grandmomma’s gone "   Now, if you’ve been blogging with me for some time, you will know that I judge people for themselves, not based on color, religion, sex, or anything else.  But this topic is based on stats – and I’d appreciate any feedback you might offer, no matter your race, creed, or nationality.  Please be frank and honest with your opinions; however any opinion that are based on racisim or hatred will be deleted as they were on the first posting.  Peace, Light and Love . . . . CordieB. 

Why is it that African-American women tend to take care of their extended families and non-families more so than our caucasion sisters.   I visited my Aunt (who is 70+)  last weekend, and was amused, as always, at her streangth and her many stories of days gone by.  While I was there, two of her great- grand children were preparing to eat.   Now, my aunt, who is 70+ has raised her children, some of her grand children; and now – God bless her soul, she is raising two of her great grands!  These children are still in elementary school!   She receives very little assistance, –other than finacial help from her son who lives with her.    Most of the physical and emotional tolls all fall on her.  This same woman took care of my grand mother when she became too old to care for herself.  She would not have ever thought of putting Granny in a nursing home.  She took care of me when my mother passed away  (And I thank her for it).  She has taken in so many people with hard luck situations, and hardly ever complains.  But what’s so amazing about her is that she is the norm among African-American woman 50 years of age and older.  Now, some may feel that this is a myth or a belief that is not based on fact.   I made this observation based upon people whom I’ve encountered (my family, my friends)– and true enough, there are studies that show this to be true –  see below: 

Goodman and Silverstein (2001) found that compared to grandmothers of other ethnic groups, African American grandmothers were more likely to have more life satisfaction and lower negative affect. However, further empirical research has pointed to other reasons that suggest the issue of grandparents as caregivers for their grandchildren is especially relevant for African Americans. In the United States, the largest percentages of children living in a grandparent headed household are African American (Pebley & Rudkin, 1999; Pinson-Millburn & Fabian, 1996; Fuller-Thompson & Minkler, 2000; Caputo, 2001). Studies have found that compared to White grandparents who are caregivers to their grandchildren, African American parenting grandparents are more likely to be unemployed, live below the poverty line, and have more grandchildren for whom they provide care (Sands & Goldberg-Glen, 2000). Similarly, others have found that living beneath the poverty line, being African American, and being single raises the probability of becoming a grandparent who is a caregiver to their grandchildren (Roe & Minkler, 1998). Fuller-Thompson

To read the entire study, see http://www.clas.ufl.edu/users/tlmills/pub/Mills%20Publications/Mills,%20Gomez%20Smith%20&%20DeLeon_Grandparents.pdf

If you read the whole report you will see that among grandmothers raising grandchildren, African-American grandmothers make up for 69 percent of the total. 

Now back to the question.  Why?  I have more than a few answers of my own, but the best one that I can give is because we are expected to. 

Now expecting a 70 year to raise an elementary school aged child is nothing to brag about–in fact it is ludicrous.  I find  this type of expectation is what oftentimes leaves whole generations without proper guidance and discipline.   Where are the mothers? God only knows where the fathers are.  What are we teaching our children when we give them the expectation that we will always be there for them and for their’s-no doubt.  How many borderline unfit mothers would straighten up if we threatened to call social services and not do the work ourselves? 

Now I know that I might pee a lot of my beautiful people off by saying this; afterall – it’s not only that we are expected, we also have those spiritual virtues of love, caring, and being responsible for others who are less fortunate. 

However, love sometimes has to be learned the hard way.  Caring means, sometimes no matter how hard it might be, we step back and let our children or friends actually pass the grade and not do the work for them.   By doing the work for them, we are making  a contribution to a new generation of ignorance and complacency.

The Bible says, give a man a fish, and he’ll eat for a day, teach a man to fish and he’ll eat for a lifetime. 

There is a difference between helping and "enabling."    Enabling is a term that I, until recently, only associated with addiction.  However, when we allow self sufficient adults to become totally dependent upon us, we are not helping them at the least.   In fact, we are enabling them to become addicted to a cycle of dependency.

We can’t stop this cycle overnight.  But we can stop it by gradually putting our foot down and not allowing people to make so many unhealthy and unloving demands on us. 

We have to again teach our children and our neigbors self-sufficency by providing tough love–that which will have lasting and significant assistance. 

Peace, Light and Love. . . CordieB