Archive for Depression
After seeing the news today and viewing the awful incident involving George Sodini who shot into a gym, murdering 3 woman and injuring 9 before killing himself, I have decided to begin posting 5 things I am greatful for on Thursdays. Sometimes in life, it helps to remind ourselves of what we are greatful for, and not put so much thought and reverence into that which we feel we lack. Expressing gratitude sends out a message to the universe that you are thankful, and you will draw to you that more to be thankful for, like a magnet. Don’t you give more to those who reflect thanks than those who reflect anguish when you you offer them something??? It’s one of the basic universal laws! Misery attracts misery and joy attracts joy!
There are so many things I am thankful for today. Reflecting back has made me realize some things I feel thankfull for changes each day, as some things about me change—while other things remain stagnant. I believe we can see how we are growing; what we are knowing, etc. by what are greatful for.
I urge you to list five things in your life for which you are thankful. You’d be surprized how much this list can tell you about yourself and your frame of mind.
Here’s my five for today:
I am thankful that I have people in my life who expect certain tings of and from me, but truly love me regardless…whether I live up to those expections or not…uncondiionally…and the feelings are mutual.
I am thankful to be gainfully employed and earn enough to take care of myself and my son, and to share with others every now and then too. 🙂
I am especially thankful that my mind is not tormented with anger, resentment, sadness and dispair that I see and read about so often.
I am thankful that my words might calm or inspire one person who may be feeling that anger, resentment, sadness, or dispair today.
I am thankful that I have grown to find enormous joy in the so called “little things” like a red rose, a butterfly, or the wind blowing through my hair. These “little things” are far bigger than anything man has ever created, and I often wonder why they are referred to as little things in the first place; as they are oh so grand!!!
I intended to limit my list to 5, but I have one more that I just have to list…I am thankful for the icecream sandwitch my Gee just brought over ot me!! ooom, yummy…:)
So, what are you greatful for today? I’d love to know.
Peace, Light and Love. . . Cordieb.
What Is, Is.
The nature of my blog tags often draws individuals who are spiritual, deep, and quite inspiring; but on that same token, it also draws many individuals who are searching, depressed, and looking for light in the depths of their perceived darkness. I’m emphathetic to all of these emotions, as I too have experienced most of the feelings I often see on many of my fellow blogger’s pages and comments.
Often, I see personality traits that lean toward the inspiring, enlightened, and enthusiastic about all of life. The sky could be very well be falling, yet these individuals will see the positive in such.
But there are often times where I see personalities that lean towards the darkness, the depression, the truely pessimistic approach towards most of life’s issues. I often want to simply hold these individuals up and let them know that all will truely be ok. I sometimes do not understand why it is that they do not see that this too shall pass. . .
But, in the interim, I am reminded, that we are all individuals with different experiences, and our experiences form many of our perceptions.
And so, for today . . . I will simply deal with the present moment. Because, what is is. How I deal with the What Is is a reflection of how I feel about my self at this very moment. There are times when I choose to look for the possibilities…it is where dreams are manifested…but it is also where nightmares are manifested…depending on my frame of mind at the time.
I often wonder what it is about us that determines what we lean more toward. There are truely those who relish the darker side of life. The darkness, depression, and sadness, gives them a certain melancholy of life noir that makes life more interesting for them. Then, there are those who truely relish the light. These are the optimist…those who see the rainbow after the storm, the light at the end of the tunnel–all the time.
But in reality, life is filled with ups and downs. We will have our good moments and our not so good moments. But as human beings, I feel we must strive to endure with a sense of love for life…no matter the circumstances. Our love for life must reflect love for all life. . . so that life will continue for all. You see, what is, is. But if we look around us and take in more of the other is’s other than what is in our own mind, we might begin to see What Is in a different light.
Look at nature today, nature Is. Feel the warmth of the sun today, the sun Is. Gaze at the stars tonight, the stars Are. Watch the moon tonight, the moon Is. Examine individuals walking, talking, whispering. . . come out side of self for a moment today to truely experience What Is. Experience the allness of allness. Experience life as if you were God overseeing all creation. . . listen to the small sounds of the small animals. Look at the blade of grass sway in the wind. Take a closer look at what really Is. . . it may give you a perspective about life you never really gave thought to before. You may come to the realization that life Is. . . . forever changing!
“The only thing constant in life is change" ~François de la Rochefoucauld
“…A mind not to be changed by place or time. The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven.” ~John Milton
~Peace, Light and Love. . . . CordieB.
I am the tallest, darkest shadow to fall upon the hearts of men;
I have caused enormous calamity, failure and sin;
With me in a heart, humans seldom ever win.
Such a cold, dark, shallow shadow am I;
I bring on fears and tears, causing humans to sigh, asking why?
I’ve destroyed countless relationships, successes and faith;
I’m quite subtle, yet very strong is my wrath;
All minds and hearts will inevitably at times see me in their path.
All humans encounter me, some more than another;
You see, insecurity is my sister and worry is my brother;
My father is fear; suspicion, my mother.
I embrace souls at night like a new found lover.
If you are not carefull, I will suffocate you under my dark, thick cover.
Like a blanket of dread, I cover my prey;
To release yourself of my wrath, you must kneel down and pray;
Stay thankful and hopeful, live day by day.
I’ve had many second-guessing what’s wrong from right.
I cause anxiousness, apprehensiveness,
and can make hearts uptight;
But my shadow is very easily overcome by the family of light . . .
For the bright light of hope, faith, and love shine so bright
And they bring courage, security and trust to join in the fight;
Such illuminosity, clarity, and brilliance is their light,
It will cause my dark, deep shadow to fade and disappear straight into the night!
Who am I? (click below for answer)
Read the rest of this entry »
If you can’t seem to get it together, it may be that you have given too much of yourself away. It may be that you have compromised, over-compensated, given in and given over so much of yourself that you no longer know where all of the pieces have been scattered. Perhaps the things you thought you needed to do to get love, to experience yourself as loveable, to be acknowledged, left you splintered, shattered and broken into so many pieces you feel like you will never be able to pull yourself together. Don’t worry! You have simply experienced an invasion of the body snatchers!
A body-snatchers invasion will distort the truth about you. It will make you forget your true identity. it will make you feel guilty about your desire to take care of yourself and honor yourself. It will point out the wrongness of your choices, the dangers of your decisions, the impossibility of your visions and the fallacy of your beliefs. A little nip here. A little peck here…
There is a way to pull yourself back together when you have been accosted by body snatchers. You must examine all the times you gave others the right to make your decisons, when you expected others to do for you what only you had the power to do, when you gave others the right to decide your destiny and when you dishonored yourself in order to pelase others. When you remember what you have done, forgive yourself! Most important, you must say, "Never again."
Until today, you may not have realized that you had been invaded by body snatchers who have dismembered pieces and parts of your identity. Just for today, protect yourself! Be aware of the things you do that deminish and distort the sense of wholeness, worthiness, and your ability to make your own choices and decisions.
This was very hard to write for me; as there is no greater loss that I can imagine than that of the loss of a child. Yet it happens; more often than we want to admit . . .So often people guilty because they are told they must move on . . . yet healing requires grief and time. Those who intend to bring comfort must understand these cycles too. So I write this for anyone who may be going through such despair. . . and I pray that you find joy one sweet day. . .
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance
Grief’s Cycle …By CordieB
I don’t believe what’s happening;
Surely this can not be real
I’ll awaken from this nightmare soon
I’ll see, I’ll touch, I’ll feel . . .
your loving eyes; your tender heart
You..are still here! No!
We are not apart!
Oh God why did you take my love….
Such a loving soul was he
If you were such a loving God
Why allow such tragedy?
This world is filled with such despair
What does it mean, who really cares?
There are no answers to eternity
If only you would just take me…
instead; I’d rather be the one –
Please take me God, release my son…
Just leave me be. . . let me be free
Into my solo destiny
Alone ..through misty haze I see – and want to be
No desire to communicate –
I’ve lost my will; such is my fate…
Why is it that he had to die?
I plead, I beg, I must know why…
My heart’s so cold; ice cycled blood I cry . . .
Such agony; I hate- despise…
I can not pray . . my heart still cries
I can’t imagine going on . . .
without my loving, caring son . . .
Time passes by; seems like a distant dream
I cry sometimes….
yes, with time …the sadness weans
and with each day as life goes on…
Your love; it helps me carry on
I miss you still, so much – yet I fear
I’ll lose your vision through the years. . .
Yet memories remain so rich and clear
I feel your love down in my soul
Memories bring me comfort; love keeps me whole
My God holds me each day, each hour
So wondrous is God’s healing power
I don’t have answers to this life . . .
Yet live I must, through peace or strife
as death’s essential to all life
And though I do not understand
I see a glimpse of life again
And I feel so blessed to be the one…
you chose to be your mother, Son.
~Written for Valeria Harrison, Mother of Jamal, for which I wrote an article recently, entitled Lessons from the Hood – Perhaps you can find it; I’m tired ." Valeria read that post . . . and commented. . . .let us keep her in our prayers and pray that men will lay their weapons down!
I’ve had many houses; but lost my home;
Like a drifter; I feel displaced; thus I roam
in the mind of the abyss; I lay my head…
fitting in no where; constantly afraid
of the anger that lies just on the surface…
unknowing of when it might unsurface;
I’ve been a haven for many weary souls
wandering in the nights of bitter cold…
strangers; often kinder than family,
or could it simply be they needed me…
when I could provide warmth and rest–
flying lessons for birds dropped from the nest.
Where are those birds; where have they flown?
In dreams I envision they’ve sustained their own.
I know they flew with love supreme…
like mirrored lights reflected, untamed; unseen
I feel i’m building up a wall of distance, strong!
In my times of need; where have they gone?
Perhaps they’ve barely strength to hold their own?
Resentment builds; yet dissipates…
twas not their plan; simply my fate…
I strain to love; yet can not hate.
I look within for the lesson; What can it be?
Why has good fortune abandoned me?
Whilst satan raises his ugly face
I pray to retain faith, love and grace…
Is this a test of will divine?
I search to God; send me a sign!
Allow not my heart to turn to stone…
from hurts that ache down to the bone.
My light is dimming; draining love thereof…
I never understood a heart that could not love.
Seems a long ago prayer for humility
alas is answered to reveal the cold heart’s reality;
step into the cold shoe; comprehend the rashion
of the souls who lost ability for compassion.
Enough! enough! . . . I must end this madness!
that’s quickly overshadowing joy by darkened sadness
I grasp a candle of hope; I whisper a prayer…
that by grace I pass the lesson of dispair
~Pride first, then the crash, but humility is precursor to honor. Proverbs 18:12 (The Message)
Now beside my bed I Kneel
I Pray the Lord My Soul to Heal
If God can take away this pain
I vow to love myself again
Now beside my bed I cry
My soul is heavy; I know not why
for whatever mistakes I may have made
My burdens have long ago been paid
I will Will my heart again
to love freely; even through pain
I will Will my heart again
to sing again in gentle rains
I will Will my mind again
to accept love from which it flows
to love myself unconditionally
What’s of tomorrow; no one knows
Now I lay me down to sleep
Although I cry; and though I weep
I’m thankful that should I awake
New beginnings arise with dawn’s day break
Peace, Light and Love, CordieB.