Looking in the Mirror

Spiritual Revelations for those seeking Humanity in Humans ~~CordieB.

Archive for problems

Most relationship problems really arent’ as difficult as we make them

Most relationship problems really aren’t as hard as we make them.  It is really quite simple.  Unfortunately, we have so much “stuff” attached to the situation, we create a burden where there need not be one.  We create problems where none exist.  We cause ourselves a great deal of upset for no reason!  There is really no reason to fight or argue about it; to explain or to demand an explanation.  We are clear!

You did not like what happened.  It did not honor you!  It was a violation of your boundaries.  It was not in keeping with the agreement you made or the agreement someone made with you.  What is happening or has happend is not of your choice, nor is if of your making.  So, it’s really very simple!  Stop looking and asking for an explanation.  Stop demanding that people do what they have already demonstrated an unwillingness or inability to do.  Accept what has happend and decide what you are going to do about it!  Once you make the decision that honors you, move on!

Stop making the realities of your life more difficult than they need to be!  Accept what you know and feel to be right for you without trying to convince others that they are so wrong. 

Stop wasting your breath, and their time, venting on something that you have stated is unacceptable. 

When We Focus on the Problem, the Problem Gets Bigger

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Photo courtesy of CordieB and was inspired by pboothe

The mind is such an incredible power tht it literally expands whatever it touches.  When we are faced with a challenge, obstacle or problem, our tendency is to nurture it.  We talk about it.  We describe it vividly.  We monitor its progress day by day, imagining how much it is growing and how its effects are devastating every aspect of our lives.  What we are actually doing is giving the problem more value than its worth.  When confronted with a difficulity, we must immediately shift our attention from the problem to the solution.  We can think, speak and bring the best possible outcome into existence by focusing on where we are going, not on where we think we are.

~Iyala Vanzant

Have you ever imagined something very terrible, that never materialized, or was nothing like you thought it would be?  So often in life, when we are faced with challenges, we let our mind focus so heavily on the problem, that our mind can not expand to come up with the solution. 

The fear in facing challenges sometimes overwhelm us so much that we become physically sick.  Once we become sick, we are forced to focus on our health, and the problem is not so important anymore.   Allowing fearful thoughts to control your mind will bring on sickness and illness, both of the mind, body and soul. 

We have to constantly be aware of our thoughts when we face life’s challenges.  Only when we focus on the solution and let go of the fear, will be able to defeat the challenge.   Also, ninety percent of the time, the fear we dread is only perceived and never materializes. 

When I was in middle school, I was scared to death of going to school the next day because a bully had threatend to fight me.  I lay awake all night worrying, imagining my teeth being punched out and my hair being pulled out.  When the morning came, I had a stomach ache due to the enduring worry.  Now my mother was very keen to my emotions, and she knew something was wrong.  She must have sensed that I was having a problem of this sort.  She would not let me stay home!  She said, you have to face your battles in order to move on in life. 

Well, to make a long story short, I went to school and I faced my bully.  There was a fight; I lost.  But the lost was not as bad as I had imagined. I still had beautiful teeth and lovely hair.  In fact, I gained respect for standing up to the bully; and she and I became good friends eventually. 

So I say to you my friends, face your challenges; don’t avoid them.  Don’t imagine the worst and blow up your problems.  The future is never quite what we imagine it to be.  What we know now about tomorrow is only a fraction, if that much.  We so often see the worst in our problems.  We also forget that everything changes.  No heartache, bad times, bad luck, good times or anything else will last forever.  Stressing on problems will make you sick–such mental stress can actually activate that cancer cell that we all have .  Focus on the solution, and not the problem!  (If there really is a problem; most likely not!)

Peace, Love and Light to you and yours . . . .

CordieB.