Looking in the Mirror

Spiritual Revelations for those seeking Humanity in Humans ~~CordieB.

Archive for forgiveness

If I had it to do all again. . .

 regrets
Art entitled "Regrets" courtesy of marmota, and is shared under a creative commons licence.
The following poem was inspired by Sunday Scribblings  , writing prompt # 148,  on regret.   "Got any? Things you wish you’d done differently? Things you wish you’d said or not said? Things you want to be sure to do and say now so that you don’t end up with regrets?"

Eternal Regret -I Forgive Myself; but Can’t Forget~By CordieB  

I’ve lived a lifetime of one regret

that’s dimmed with passing time; still yet

love and conscious won’t allow me to forget

 

And so I often trick my mind

to place sordid memories far behind

still… regret creeps in from time to time …

 

And then sometimes I even pretend

that day had actually not transcended

Imagine . . . starting anew again !!!

 

but reality knocks with raging force

thus I am left with grave remorse

perhaps that day changed my life’s course??

 

forever regretful, my heart still aches

but my God can NOT make mistakes

I convince myself for sanity’s sake

 

And so what IS, IS. What’s meant shall be

and that’s my whole tricked reality . . .

My life’s anchor through soul’s eternity  . . .

Regret’s but a piece of life that’s made me, me . . .

~Written in memory of my dear mother, Marion Wallace, who died of a massive heart attack when I was 15, shortly after we’d had a terrible argument and I had left the house.   I miss you, ma. 

~~CordieB.  

"Quote:  Imagine, in the midst of a heated argument, that the person you are arguing with suddenly clutches his/her heart, utters a cry, and falls dead at your feet. Where is your anger now?"  ~Unknown

Today I am devoted to stopping the things I do that do not honor who I am!

glassheart

Glass Heart - Courtesy of Vanessa Pike-Russell shared under a Creative Common's License

Life will let you get away with someting for a while, but sooner or later, you will pay the price! When you get the bill, don’t be shocked! Don’t act like you don’t understand! Everthing you do in life causes the effects that you experience. When you get the bill, be prepared to pay.

If you know that you are being dishonest, you must know that you can only get away with being dishonest for a while. Eventually, what you do and say will come back to bite you. When it does, don’t cry over the teeth marks! Acknowledge what you have done. Forgive yourself. Ask for forgiveness. Make amends or restitution if you can, and move on.
When you know that you engaged in activities that dishonor you, you know that you will eventually be called on your stuff. Only unworthy people can do unworthy things and get away with them. Since you obviously are not in that category, you can expect to get caught. When you do, don’t act innocent! Own your stuff! Acknowledge your deed. Forgive yourself. Ask for forgiveness. Make amends or restitution. Move on! Now here comes the hard part.

When the moment of reckoning comes, you may feel as if you are unable to forgive yourself. You may be too proud to ask for forgiveness. There may be no way you can make amends or restitution. In the worst case scenario, you may be faced with all of these possibilities at once. Should that happen, remember this: Life knows what you are capable of ! The only reason life has taken the time to point out your little shortcomings and nasty habits is that life wants you to act like you know who you are!

Until today, you may have been trying to get away with doing something that is in conflict with the things life knows about you. Just for today, stop doing things that dishonor you and act like the person you know you are!

Today I am devoted to stopping the things I do that do not honor who I am!

Iyanla Vanzant, Until Today

Forgive Your Mother ~Iyanla Vanzant

 ©2008 *DarkHunterWolf

 

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about my mother. My mother passed away in 1980 and I never really got the chance to tell her how much I loved her.     She suffered a massive heart attack soon after we had an argument and I had left the house.  I hope you find these words as comforting as I found them when I first read them.

 

Forgive your mother!  Forgive her not for the things she has done or not done or for the things she said or has not said.  Forgive her because it is the only way to open your heart to self-forgiveness.  Forgive her not because you don’t have a right to be upset about the way she has handled some things in her life and in your life.  Forgive her not because she was right in making you feel wrong, or because she was wrong when she failed to acknowledge that you were right.  Forgive your mother because until you do, there will always be a void in your heart. 

Forgive your mother for the many, many times she was not the mother you wanted her to be.  Forgive her for the times she did not do things the way you needed them done.  Forgive your mother for not protecting you or speaking out in your behalf.  Forgive her for not guiding you in the right direction and for the times she totally lost her direction, dragging you along with her.  Forgive your mother for demanding things from you that she could not provide for you or for herself.  Forgive your mother whether or not she did anything wrong or bad to you.  Forgive her not because you are excusing whatever she did or however it affected you.  Forgive your mother because holding judgments against her has a devastating impact on your soul.  The judgments you hold will eventually break your heart.  Forgive your mother because the truth is, she did the best she could whether you would like to believe it or not. You may have been harboring judgments or negative opinions about your mother and the way she did or did not mother you.  

Just for today, forgive yourself for judging your mother.  Once you do, there will be nothing left to forgive her for.

 ~Iyanla~

Spiritual Art Sunday – The Emerging

The Emerging - CordieB

The Emerging - CordieB

She walks this earth inside her mind

Her fear of love has made her blind

She wears a smile with distant gleam

But all is well, or so it seems

She spat at love eternally

And swears this is the way to be

This is one thing she feels she can control

Yet there’s a hollow in her soul

for which she can’t quite fill the void

Thus, She walks though life quite paranoid

That there is something in her being

That’s lying dormant; unforeseen

An imagined evil just on the surface

For which she cleverly keeps in place

By a trillion thoughts of self reduction

Repetitive thoughts; causing obstruction

Of true desire for what can make her feel

worthy of love, of life, of zeal . . .

So long these thoughts have tricked her mind

She scantly remembers there being a time

When she knew how to live outside of self

When she felt deserving of being blessed

She thought she could live this way forever

But the universe willed her to discover

The backwards spelling of the dormant evil

The love she stubbornly won’t allow to spill

She fears the pain she may evoke

That take her breath; make her choke

That pains her more than anything else

Since her mind’s convinced her she can’t help herself

So she wears soft shoes that hurt her feet

As a constant reminder of past retreats

She has not learned the power of self forgiveness

For she’s convinced she deserves no blessing

So love resides in remission; deeply submerged

For years in dormant; yet soon to be emerged

Love is pushing its way from inside out

Though she’s quite  successful at keeping Love out

Each time she feels Love peeking around

She changes directions to ensure she can’t be found

Yet, God has other plans for this child, disguised as woman

LOVE WILL crawl from the hidden place she’s tucked Love in…

–Written by CordieB

P.S.  If you think I wrote this for you. . . I did 🙂