Looking in the Mirror

Spiritual Revelations for those seeking Humanity in Humans ~~CordieB.

Archive for Courage

As I Was Going to See Saint I’s

 

Afro American Girl literally by ~madhatter-asylum on deviant ART

As I was going to see Saint I’s

I met a woman by big surprise!

Who shocked me when I realized

That she was not as saintly as she’d surmised

 

As I was going to see Saint I’s

I met a woman who’d cheated and lied

Who’d broken many promises in life . . .

and caused hearts to break; causing toil and strife

 

As I was going to see Saint I’s

I met a broken-hearted woman with blackened eyes

Who’d allowed destructive relationships to take its toll

On her body; her mind; damn near her soul!

 

As I was going to see Saint I’s

I met a woman with many nights of cries

Though many were brought upon herself . . .

she often blamed Saint Someone Else

 

As I was going to see Saint I’s

I soon become to realize

how Saint I’s choices help prophesize

her destiny and life’s Karmic reprise

 

As I was going to see Saint I’s

I begin to forgive past and future hurts and lies

I forgave Saint I’s for her saintly disguise

To Saints lack and fear, I gladly said my goodbyes

 

As I finally arrived to see Saint I’s

I met Saints Love , Forgiveness , Courage, Truth and Wise

Five beautiful spirits; in motion; yet spiritually still

These saints introduced me to Saint "Free Will "

 

As I was getting to better know Saint I’s

I became increasingly mesmerized by her changed demise

Forgiveness of self and others helped her to arrive and arise

Courage and Truth began to replace those fears and lies

Love began to clear up those bloodshot eyes . . .

 

In time Saint I’s lost her Saintly hood

Life started flowing like God intended it should

Her cup ran over with a cloudy, yet rainbowed sky

Thus, she dropped the Saint and became simply I

 

Love, Hatred, Courage, Fear, Truth and Lies . . . .

How many were going to see Saint I’s?

 

~Written by I (CordieB)

Life will work for me when I realize . . . I have everthing I need within me to create everthing I want out there

What is the difference between joy and happiness?  What is the difference between knowing and believing?  Wht is the difference between love and pleasure?  Joy, knowing and love are what you feel.  Happiness, believing and pleasure are ways you think.  The former are all internal experiences.  The latter are responses to external events.  The former are things over which you have control through the power of your mind.  The latter are experiences through which you can be controlled by events and people!

If you are waiting for something to happen that will make you happy, chances are you are killing off your joy.  Joy comes through you.  Happiness comes to you!  If you seek your joy within, you will be happy, no matter what is going around you.  When you know you will be protected, guided and blessed, it is easy to believe in more than what you can see.  If you only believe what you can see around you, you may miss the blessings that are right under your nose.  If you have and hold love in your heart, you will always know what to do and what to say.  If you measure out how much love to give, you will undoubtedly meet people and situations who have a reflective measure of love for you.  Nothing can hapen for you in the outside world until you create the energy to attract it to and through your inside world. 

Until Today, you may have misssed the little differences that coudl make a big difference in your life.  Just for today, be devoted to developing a strong inner life that can create a better outer life.  In prayer and meditation ask to experiece joy, knwoing and love, knowing that once you ask, you will receive!

~Inyanla Vanzant

Yesterday, I became so off track that I was still off track this morning.  Now, I’m usually very even tempered, and try to see the good side of everthing in life and people.  But yesterday, some people really pissed me off.  In retrospect, I shouldn’t have gotten so angry.  Also, the people responsible for my anger have no idea of the gravity of the anger I had.  (They will, if they ever read this, however.)

Now as a female, we tend to let relationship issues tick us off more so than any thing else.  We can deal with unruly children, pestering neighbors, lazy co-workers, incompentent managers, idiodic family members, fu-ked up friends, you name it.  But as soon as someone does something that we perceive as being disrespectful, flirtatious, etc, when pertaining to our man, we loose our cool composition points; or is it just me?

My friend/coworker (who doesn’t have a man of her own)  finds it her appointed duty to ride with my man and tell him everything  about her, including her sex life, lack of sex life, home life etc.  Mind you, we all work for the same agency.  Now, being that his job requires him to ensure that she has transportation to her vehicle after work, it’s really no big deal, right?  After all everyone chats, talks about their lives while riding, etc.   Also, they are friends, too. . .Right?  But when you have to ride around the post over and over, still yacking, and telling my man all of your intimate secrets, making him swear to secrecy on a stack of bibles, after a while it starts pissing me off.   Hell, I wonder what his response would be if I rode around with one of his croneys?   How many secrets do you plan on telling my man not to tell me!   I know the shit is childish; but I was just rubbed wrong yesterday, and still am, as you may see from the tone of this post. 

Ok.  Here is the part that broke the campbell’s back.  I get in the van to ride around because I have something that I want to talk to my man about.  Mind you, we are all friends–he and she more so than she and I.   I realize that he has given her one of our last ciggerettes, and she makes it a point to let me know that she rode off the installation with him to go fuel the vehicle.  Ok.  I try not to show my contempt, I’m hoping that the steam coming from my ears is not too thick. 

So, I make up casual conversation and friendly inquiries, asking about the kids, the job, and whatever.   But, evidently, I couldn’t fake the funk good enough.  She must have seen the steam coming from my ears or else she heard the toot toot sound muffled in my throat.

Here’s the kicker.  Once she’s on her way home, she calls my man back, upset, (almost in tears he says) because she senses that I may have had an ATTITUDE.    He said she sounded like she was about to cry, and said she wasn’t going to ride with him anymore, and she needed the exercise anyway, because she didn’t want to start any trouble–and we (me and her) are friends.  

BULLSHIT.  Now you can bullshit some of the people some of the time, and most of the people some of the time, and some of the people most of the time, but you can NEVER pull bullshit over me when it comes to my man!

(1)  If I’m your friend, you wouldn’t constantly tell my man your secrets, and say dont’ tell me.

(2)  I wouldn’t dream of riding around with a friend’s man, yacking and yacking.  That shit just ain’t kosher.

(3)  I’m beginning to think that perhaps she gets a kick out of this drama – being that she made it a point to point out that they had to go off post.  That’s not Friendship.  That’s Bullship.

(4)  If she felt I had a problem with the riding, she should have approached me with her sob phoney story about not riding anymore because she sensed I was upset. 

Anyway. . . .   (haaa. . . . . . . I’m exhaling now)  I feel better now.   I’m experiencing joy, knowing and love and no one can take that or give that to me except myself, because it’s internal. 

 Peace, Light and Love to you and yours. . . .