Looking in the Mirror

Spiritual Revelations for those seeking Humanity in Humans ~~CordieB.

Archive for children

Spiritual Art Sunday – The Measurement of a Man Lies in the His Heart

The Measurement of a Man Lies in His Heart by CordieB

The Measurement of a Man Lies in His Heart

When you can keep composure and know just what to do
While others are loosing theirs; while blaming it on you
When you can believe in self, when others say you can’t
Yet still love those others, regardless of negative affirmant

When you can remain patient without growing too weary of the wait
When you can make the best of dire circumstances  come what may
And realize your part; not blame others or blame fate
When being hated by others doesn’t cause you to practice hate
And evil deeds upon you is not dealt with in evil retaliate

When being lied about  doesn’t cause you to become a liar
and yet not believe or boast on being the the better or the wiser
When you can dream and not become a perpetual daydreamer
When you can solicit assistance without resorting to being a schemer
When you can think, while not being obsessed with your thoughts
When you can admit to mistakes without having been caught
When you can accept criticism without pointing fingers back
And not take all criticism as a personal attack
When you can summon courage in the mist of paralyzing fears
When you are not afraid to cry; as strength often comes with tears

When you can face disaster and triumph just the same
realizing they are one–just with a different name
When you can risk it all in the investment of a dream
loose it all; but not loose faith and start all over again
Keeping life in perspective, never bothering to complain

When you can walk in a crowd of evil, yet still keep your virtue
When you can not loose sight of the goodness within you
When you can have abundance, yet not forget from where you came
When you can be tied in bondage, yet your freedom still remains

When you can learn life’s lessons in all that come and go
Not ever falsely thinking you know all there is to know
When you can give all you can, still knowing when to say no
Realizing true friends count with you; not simply take and go

When you can give from the heart to those less fortune than self
And not measure richness on material wealth
When you can love, realizing love may not be returned the same
Then you shall possess a gift held in the heart of a real man
When you can realize the powers you so blessedly possess
Knowing with God’s Grace comes unique responsibilities
When you can converse with royalty with wisdom inner borne
And also communicate with beggars, realizing we are all of one
then life will start revealing light like a distant rising sun
And when you strive to master these truths, you shall be a man, my son

–Written especially for Sam, my wonderful son , pictured above.  Sam is 16.  I imagine you remember being 16 . . . no need to say more. . . lol

Inspired by Rudyard Kipling’s “If”

Effective Love

Mother and Daughter Relationship ~CordieB

Imagine if You Will . . .

If all little girls were loved by their mothers . . .

If all little boys were loved by their dads . . .

Perhaps the world would be a better place, perhaps?

Is this not how the Bible teaches us that God loves us,

Yet .  . .the world is not a better place.

Why? 

Because for love to be effective in making our world better, there must be a relationship.

A relationship involves relating–communicating, and sharing of ourselves others.

Love from afar without any form of relationship bonding

is about as ineffective in making the world a better place as hatred.

Are not we all made of God? . . . Is God not inherit in each of us?

In order that we build a loving relationship with God, we must build relationships with ourselves and other human beings.

We must build  loving relationships with inhabitants of the Earth. 

Not to a far away supreme being in the sky.

~~Written by CordieB.

The Boy and the Dragon ~CordieB.

So full of mannishness, quite an impressive brave boy! 

He worshiped mom and dad; second only to his toys… 

that sparked imagination; making him noble like his dad.

His sword he proudly made himself; his armor, titan clad.

He knew he had a job to do; he had to do this on his own; 

for mom and dad were fast asleep; into the woods, he’d crept alone… 

to stop a fire breathing dragon from evading his family’s peaceful home. 

He practiced sorcery faithfully for weeks before this fateful eve! 

Although he feared the dragon’s fire; he knew he could not leave. 

He had to ensure this beast would not blow the house with fire… 

And so with magic titan sword in hand, he tipped into the mire. 

Although his skills were excellent on his Xbox 360, 

He knew an actual defeat might prove a bit more tricky!

As he moved deeper into the woods, near the beaver dam, 

he saw the dragon lying down, but upon closer exam . . . 

he realized the dragon was almost fast asleep… 

Suddenly the dragon opened one eye and surprisingly began to weep! 

"Oh boy, why must you slay me?  I mean no harm to you!" 

"I have no friends in this world, and wandered here to you." 

The boy swiftly stopped the sword in mid air, it would have pierced dragon’s lung!

Boy and Dragon began talking and playing; having lots of fun!

And that’s how a lifetime friendship of boy and dragon first begun.

~A CordieB Fable.

~Written for Rick Mob’s image promt for stories or poems sparked by the wonderful art above and for the artist’ brave son, Brodus .

The morals of this story: 

1.  Bullys are usually just reaching out for friendship! 

2.  Dragons and Boys can be friends too!  They just need to communicate!

3.  Fear can oftentimes cause our imagination to get the best of us.

African-American Grandmothers ~Written by CordieB

Cordieb and BabyCocoa

Cordieb and BabyCocoa

I’m reposting this due to an interesting blog posting I read today on RawDawgB’s blog, entititled, "When the grandmomma’s gone "   Now, if you’ve been blogging with me for some time, you will know that I judge people for themselves, not based on color, religion, sex, or anything else.  But this topic is based on stats – and I’d appreciate any feedback you might offer, no matter your race, creed, or nationality.  Please be frank and honest with your opinions; however any opinion that are based on racisim or hatred will be deleted as they were on the first posting.  Peace, Light and Love . . . . CordieB. 

Why is it that African-American women tend to take care of their extended families and non-families more so than our caucasion sisters.   I visited my Aunt (who is 70+)  last weekend, and was amused, as always, at her streangth and her many stories of days gone by.  While I was there, two of her great- grand children were preparing to eat.   Now, my aunt, who is 70+ has raised her children, some of her grand children; and now – God bless her soul, she is raising two of her great grands!  These children are still in elementary school!   She receives very little assistance, –other than finacial help from her son who lives with her.    Most of the physical and emotional tolls all fall on her.  This same woman took care of my grand mother when she became too old to care for herself.  She would not have ever thought of putting Granny in a nursing home.  She took care of me when my mother passed away  (And I thank her for it).  She has taken in so many people with hard luck situations, and hardly ever complains.  But what’s so amazing about her is that she is the norm among African-American woman 50 years of age and older.  Now, some may feel that this is a myth or a belief that is not based on fact.   I made this observation based upon people whom I’ve encountered (my family, my friends)– and true enough, there are studies that show this to be true –  see below: 

Goodman and Silverstein (2001) found that compared to grandmothers of other ethnic groups, African American grandmothers were more likely to have more life satisfaction and lower negative affect. However, further empirical research has pointed to other reasons that suggest the issue of grandparents as caregivers for their grandchildren is especially relevant for African Americans. In the United States, the largest percentages of children living in a grandparent headed household are African American (Pebley & Rudkin, 1999; Pinson-Millburn & Fabian, 1996; Fuller-Thompson & Minkler, 2000; Caputo, 2001). Studies have found that compared to White grandparents who are caregivers to their grandchildren, African American parenting grandparents are more likely to be unemployed, live below the poverty line, and have more grandchildren for whom they provide care (Sands & Goldberg-Glen, 2000). Similarly, others have found that living beneath the poverty line, being African American, and being single raises the probability of becoming a grandparent who is a caregiver to their grandchildren (Roe & Minkler, 1998). Fuller-Thompson

To read the entire study, see http://www.clas.ufl.edu/users/tlmills/pub/Mills%20Publications/Mills,%20Gomez%20Smith%20&%20DeLeon_Grandparents.pdf

If you read the whole report you will see that among grandmothers raising grandchildren, African-American grandmothers make up for 69 percent of the total. 

Now back to the question.  Why?  I have more than a few answers of my own, but the best one that I can give is because we are expected to. 

Now expecting a 70 year to raise an elementary school aged child is nothing to brag about–in fact it is ludicrous.  I find  this type of expectation is what oftentimes leaves whole generations without proper guidance and discipline.   Where are the mothers? God only knows where the fathers are.  What are we teaching our children when we give them the expectation that we will always be there for them and for their’s-no doubt.  How many borderline unfit mothers would straighten up if we threatened to call social services and not do the work ourselves? 

Now I know that I might pee a lot of my beautiful people off by saying this; afterall – it’s not only that we are expected, we also have those spiritual virtues of love, caring, and being responsible for others who are less fortunate. 

However, love sometimes has to be learned the hard way.  Caring means, sometimes no matter how hard it might be, we step back and let our children or friends actually pass the grade and not do the work for them.   By doing the work for them, we are making  a contribution to a new generation of ignorance and complacency.

The Bible says, give a man a fish, and he’ll eat for a day, teach a man to fish and he’ll eat for a lifetime. 

There is a difference between helping and "enabling."    Enabling is a term that I, until recently, only associated with addiction.  However, when we allow self sufficient adults to become totally dependent upon us, we are not helping them at the least.   In fact, we are enabling them to become addicted to a cycle of dependency.

We can’t stop this cycle overnight.  But we can stop it by gradually putting our foot down and not allowing people to make so many unhealthy and unloving demands on us. 

We have to again teach our children and our neigbors self-sufficency by providing tough love–that which will have lasting and significant assistance. 

Peace, Light and Love. . . CordieB