Looking in the Mirror

Spiritual Revelations for those seeking Humanity in Humans ~~CordieB.

Archive for american

OK, perhaps I’m prejustice about some things, but I’m working on it!

©2008 ~motherwarxx

 

Normally, I stick to poetry or art, but every so often, I write an opinion/article.  I had planned on writing a quasi-xrated poem today, but this morning after reading Angry African’s post on racism , I decided to speak out.  So, blame AA for my writhing this post instead of the quasi-xrated poem I intended to woo you with today.  In his post, AA admitted that he was a racist at one time, and didn’t even realize it.  I prefer to use the word prejustice in AA’s situation, rather than racist.  I think there is a difference . . . He gave us a scenario of how he passed up one hitchhiker without a second thought due their color, and thought about picking up another, because it was, perhaps, "a preferred color."   AA did not say which color he preferred.  I assumed when I first read this article that he gave more thought to picking up the white passenger than so the black passenger because AA is a white male.  But after further reflection, I really don’t know, because he is also an activitist who may have felt more passion towards a black man than a white.  I don’t know.  I hope he never tells.  The point is, racism is racism.  Why is it that he felt compelled to pick up one more so than the other based solely on the color of their skin?  AA challenged us to look at ourselves and admit to our own racisms.  This is something that we do not communicate about in mixed race situations.   Perhaps it is not PC to do so; perhaps we feel that we will offend someone.  But unless we look our actions and our thought patterns then the cycle of racism will continue.  Unless we selfexamine, we will not be compelled to eradiate these ignorant thoughts.  So I said to self, "Self, how am I racist." 

 

Racist Act No. One.   I don’t consider myself to be racist, but I suppose I have preferences based upon color.  Is that racist?  I prefer relationships with black men; I’ve never been attracted to white men.  Does that make me a racist?  Perhaps yes.  Because, truth be told, I’ve never ever considered trying such because of what’s been handed down to me by society, family and friends.  Oh, I’m perfectly acceptable of others in mixed race relationships; I have many friends who are married to people of a different race.  But me personally, I have never even given such a second thought.  Period. 

 

Racist Act No. Two.   Now here is another form of racism I have, similar to that of AA’s maybe, maybe not.  I’m walking down a dark street.  On one side of the street are two white men in business suits, on the other are two black men with hoodies and baggy jeans.  As a black female, which group would I feel more comfortable walking past?  Answer – The white men in business suits.  Crazy huh?  Racists huh?  True though.  This is due to what I’ve learned; what I see,  what I’m told by the media, not what I experience.  My thought pattern has nothing whatsoever to do with the people themselves; as I don’t even know these people.  I’ve never been mugged, I’ve never been raped.  I usually walk past either without any interaction whatsoever.  So what has given me this ignorant fear that I’d rather past two white men in business suits than two black men in hoodies and jeans.  It’s simply ignorant.  And, I have to consciously stop this train of ignorant thinking; because I’m passing on this bull to my daughters and sons, either consciously or unconsciously!   A recent study showed that black women would prefer to pass individuals on the street by race and gender in this order – (1) black female (2) white female (3) white male (4) black male.  The black male is last in the pecking order, even by the black female.  Don’t you find that somewhat disturbing.   I feel the same way, yet it is very, very disturbing.  What have I allowed to sink into my head?  What fears have manifested into my belief system?  Wow! 

 

The Irony of it All.   Now even though I would not  give a white male a second look in the prospect of marriage, I  would rather pass him than a black male   on a dark street!  Ain’t that ignorant!  Think about it! 

 

Peace, Light and Love . . . CordieB. 

 

P.S. Don’t tell anyone, but I thought that Angry African was a black man for weeks when I first started reading his blog – why?– Because he’s an Angry African Activitst!.  I’d stereotyped him too.  One day I looked up and I saw those beautiful piercing green eyes in the header and it was then that I looked deeper into what he was.  Not that it should make a difference, right?  Racism is pure ignorance!  We need to check ourselves!

Photo Friday – Old Cars (Sunday Afternoons After Church) ~By CordieB.

Initially, I had not planned to submit for this week’s Photo Friday because time did not permit me to take a picture of an old vehicle. Additionally, I did not have any photos that I had previously taken. But the rules were adjusted somewhat this week, whereas we can submit pics that we did not take. So I thought I’d share a picture taken in the early 60’s of my mother and aunt Anna. Both have gone on to another realm; bless their souls.  To see this pic in a larger view; please visit my photo blog or click on the pic .

Sunday Afternoons After Church

Sunday Afternoons After Church

Sunday afternoons after church in the 60’s were so full of neighborhood and family values: Families and friends gathering together for Soul Food, good conversation–everyone wearing their Sunday best – so full of love and tradition. Boy do I ever miss those days. I myself often carry out the Sunday tradition; but unlike the days of old, it’s always me doing all the cooking and most of us did not come from church! Wow do I miss the days when many of the women gathered in the steamy kitchen talking trash, laughing – whilst the men, admiring their families, talked “business” in the dining room. Now I know that we’ve progressed so much from the 60’s; but some things, in my opinion, did not promote progress, but a sense of individuality bringing forth separation that saddens me. No longer do I see the community and family unity – everyone’s for self now. This, in my opinion, has caused depression, poverty, violence and a malady of social problems. So today, let’s strive to live that life of the 60’s, and bring family and community together.

Sunday Afternoons After Church ~By CordieB

Oh how I miss the days of old . . .

When family unity was the goal

Of every bright or weary soul

Oh how I miss the lost tradition

When helping hands was the mission

When we knew all our neighbor’s names

When we’d speak to all who peacefully came

walking down the clean sidewalks

stopping for friendly gossip and small talk

When neighbors would watch over the young

and everyone knew every one

when neighbors could spank that ass

for talking smart or acting fast

and then I’d get another one

after the neighbor told my dad or mom

When children still played hide and seek

When strong families always helped the weak

When unity meant what it should

and not simply another cliche’ buzz word

When fathers could not abandon theirs

without humilitation, points and stares

and of course lots and lots of old folk’s prayers

When the corner store owner lived in the neighborhood

and there was no such thing as “living in the hood”

And people usually acted like they knew they should

The Sunday afternoons after church dismissed

When family and neigbors gathered to reminice

And laugh and cry and love each other

and every one was treated like a sister or brother

I miss it all, but alas life goes on

So at least I’ll carry the tradition on

So if you miss those days, come visit soon

My home on Sunday Afternoons

~Written By CordieB

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Have a soul filled Sunday!

Unconditional Love

I discovered this poem on the internet some years ago.  I have kept it with me, because it is, to me, the best definition of unconditional love I have seen.  If any one knows who the author is, please advise, so that I can give the proper credit.

Greg and Cordie

What is unconditional love?

  It strikes me as this,

  The ability to always accept

  Loved ones as individual

  Human beings, human beings with

  Singular dispositions and traits

  That may waver at times,

  Depending upon personal circumstances,

  But doesn’t make that person

  Harmful, evil or bad, just human.
 

What is NOT unconditional love?

  Being automatically used in disguise,

  Taken for granted and advantage of,

  And constantly accepting and denying

  Mistreatment as isolated incidents,

  Or continually letting and forgiving someone

  For always doing me wrong

  Because they NEVER change their ways

  Does not constitute the grounds

  Of unconditional love in my eyes.
 

Unconditional love to me,

  Is the ability to differentiate

  Between when a person’s

  Contrary actions directed towards me

  Are honestly or intentionally abnormal,

  And accepting my dear beings

  At their best, lovable dispositions,

  During their dark, depressing moments,

  And throughout their mood swings,

  Because these changes happen at times.

  Sometimes it’s the hardest thing,

  To stand and deal with someone,

  When it seems like they are

  Depending upon or burdening you purposely

  Because they are hopelessly frustrated

  With their own personal issues,

  But the way to tell if

  Someone is genuinely relying on me

  Is by knowing them well

  And understanding who they are.
 

A bond that is severed,

  Is one that never existed.

  To err and to fluctuate dispositions,

  Is natural and is human.

  To embody and practice unconditional love,

  Is to know which persons

  This is appropriate to apply to

  And treat them as such,

  Realizing who they themselves are

  As human beings and individuals.
 

A hard lesson to learn

  Is sometimes when people say

  Things that hurt or insult

  Me at that particular time

  Is to not take it personally

  Based on their current demeanor

  Or attitude from whatever trial

  And tribulation they’re going through

  Because they may not mean it

  At that particular time.
 

The sidewalk isn’t always dry,

  But when it occasionally gets slippery,

  That doesn’t change its underlying structure.

  A person may experience some strife

  Which can temporarily transform them

  Into non-desirable, annoying creatures,

  But when we realize they’re human,

  And understand them as individuals,

  We’ll know they aren’t harming us

  And we can show them unconditional love.