This was very hard to write for me; as there is no greater loss that I can imagine than that of the loss of a child. Yet it happens; more often than we want to admit . . .So often people guilty because they are told they must move on . . . yet healing requires grief and time. Those who intend to bring comfort must understand these cycles too. So I write this for anyone who may be going through such despair. . . and I pray that you find joy one sweet day. . .
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance
Grief’s Cycle …By CordieB
I don’t believe what’s happening;
Surely this can not be real
I’ll awaken from this nightmare soon
I’ll see, I’ll touch, I’ll feel . . .
your loving eyes; your tender heart
You..are still here! No!
We are not apart!
Oh God why did you take my love….
Such a loving soul was he
If you were such a loving God
Why allow such tragedy?
This world is filled with such despair
What does it mean, who really cares?
There are no answers to eternity
If only you would just take me…
instead; I’d rather be the one –
Please take me God, release my son…
Just leave me be. . . let me be free
Into my solo destiny
Alone ..through misty haze I see – and want to be
No desire to communicate –
I’ve lost my will; such is my fate…
Why is it that he had to die?
I plead, I beg, I must know why…
My heart’s so cold; ice cycled blood I cry . . .
Such agony; I hate- despise…
I can not pray . . my heart still cries
I can’t imagine going on . . .
without my loving, caring son . . .
Time passes by; seems like a distant dream
I cry sometimes….
yes, with time …the sadness weans
and with each day as life goes on…
Your love; it helps me carry on
I miss you still, so much – yet I fear
I’ll lose your vision through the years. . .
Yet memories remain so rich and clear
I feel your love down in my soul
Memories bring me comfort; love keeps me whole
My God holds me each day, each hour
So wondrous is God’s healing power
I don’t have answers to this life . . .
Yet live I must, through peace or strife
as death’s essential to all life
And though I do not understand
I see a glimpse of life again
And I feel so blessed to be the one…
you chose to be your mother, Son.
~Written for Valeria Harrison, Mother of Jamal, for which I wrote an article recently, entitled Lessons from the Hood – Perhaps you can find it; I’m tired ." Valeria read that post . . . and commented. . . .let us keep her in our prayers and pray that men will lay their weapons down!