The Heaven-Hell Love-Hate Rollercoaster Ride

September 17, 2008 at 6:11 pm · Filed under Love, Mental Stress, Observations, Original Stuff, Poetry, Spirituality and tagged: Abuse, balance, Love, marriage, mental abuse, Poetry, relationships, rollercoaster, self abuse, self esteem, Spirituality

Relationship Rollercoaster ~CordieB

This seemingly unending roller coaster ride is wearing me out

Why won’t the conductor stop this ride . . . I scream! I cry! I shout!

I hold on tight; while alternately waving my hands wildly in the air

I look to the clouds, Oh God, I whisper a desperate prayer

The roller coaster ride is making me feel ill, ill, ill!

Round and round; up and down; over and over;  never still

My stomach drops–aches with nausea; head aches; heart races

Round and round; up and down; recycling, revisiting the same stories, spaces, places

The roller coaster stops briefly; Alas, I can now get off —

Finally! I catch my breath…Enough is enough is enough, IS ENOUGH!

But NO! . . . the conductor obliviously pulls the switch again!

I curse! If I ride this damn ride once more; I’ll surely go insane

Yet, with half-closed, squinted eyes, I ascend slowly, steadily to the top of the track

I reach the top – Whoa! Here I go again, plunging swiftly, violently back

Into the abyss of twirling ups and downs; abrupt turns, turn arounds

I swear when this roller coaster again slows down

I’m jumping off! I’d much rather be bruised; broken, pray tell . . .

Not dead, from riding this never ending circle of heaven hell

…Get on a calmer ride; perhaps, maybe? the merry go round

Then again, I think I’ll stick, perhaps, maybe? to solid ground

~By CordieB

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I wrote this poem today and drew the picture after being hurled down another steep rollercoaster ride – my fault though!  F…. me once, shame on you . . . F….. me twice, three, four. . . . shame on me!  Anywho . . . I read the words below on Lostwidow’s blog some time ago.  The words she shared came back clearly to me.  Thus, I clicked on over there, read it about twice; now I’m cutting and pasting to share the words with you below.  

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There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this! When
people can walk away from you: let them walk.  I don’t want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.

When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

The Bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us.[1 John 2:19]

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can’t make them stay.

Let them go.

And it doesn’t mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you’ve got to know when people’s part in your story is over so that you don’t keep trying to raise the dead.

You’ve got to know when it’s dead.

You’ve got to know when it’s over. Let me tell you something. I’ve got the gift of good-bye. It’s the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It’s not that I’m hateful, it’s that I’m faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He’ll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don’t need it. Stop begging people to stay.

Let them go!!
If you are holding on to something that doesn’t belong to you and was never intended for your life,

then you need to……

LET IT GO!!!
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LET IT GO!!!
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LET IT GO!!!
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LET IT GO!!!
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LET IT GO!!!
…
LET IT GO!!!

“The Battle is the Lord’s!”

T. J. Jakes

 

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