Looking in the Mirror

Spiritual Revelations for those seeking Humanity in Humans ~~CordieB.

The Heaven-Hell Love-Hate Rollercoaster Ride

Heaven-Hell Rollercoaster

Relationship Rollercoaster ~CordieB

This seemingly unending roller coaster ride is wearing me out

Why won’t the conductor stop this ride . . . I scream! I cry! I shout!

I hold on tight; while alternately waving my hands wildly in the air

I look to the clouds, Oh God, I whisper a desperate prayer

The roller coaster ride is making me feel ill, ill, ill!

Round and round; up and down; over and over;  never still

My stomach drops–aches with nausea; head aches; heart races

Round and round; up and down; recycling, revisiting the same stories, spaces, places

The roller coaster stops briefly; Alas, I can now get off —

Finally! I catch my breath…Enough is enough is enough, IS ENOUGH!

But NO! . . . the conductor obliviously pulls the switch again!

I curse! If I ride this damn ride once more; I’ll surely go insane

Yet, with half-closed, squinted eyes, I ascend slowly, steadily to the top of the track

I reach the top – Whoa! Here I go again, plunging swiftly, violently back

Into the abyss of twirling ups and downs; abrupt turns, turn arounds

I swear when this roller coaster again slows down

I’m jumping off! I’d much rather be bruised; broken, pray tell . . .

Not dead, from riding this never ending circle of heaven hell

…Get on a calmer ride; perhaps, maybe? the merry go round

Then again, I think I’ll stick, perhaps, maybe? to solid ground

~By CordieB


I wrote this poem today and drew the picture after being hurled down another steep rollercoaster ride – my fault though!  F…. me once, shame on you . . . F….. me twice, three, four. . . . shame on me!  Anywho . . . I read the words below on Lostwidow’s blog some time ago.  The words she shared came back clearly to me.  Thus, I clicked on over there, read it about twice; now I’m cutting and pasting to share the words with you below.  


There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this! When
people can walk away from you: let them walk. 
I don’t want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.

When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

The Bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us.[1 John 2:19]

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can’t make them stay.

Let them go.

And it doesn’t mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you’ve got to know when people’s part in your story is over so that you don’t keep trying to raise the dead.

You’ve got to know when it’s dead.

You’ve got to know when it’s over. Let me tell you something. I’ve got the gift of good-bye. It’s the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It’s not that I’m hateful, it’s that I’m faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He’ll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don’t need it. Stop begging people to stay.

Let them go!!
If you are holding on to something that doesn’t belong to you and was never intended for your life,

then you need to……







“The Battle is the Lord’s!”

T. J. Jakes



  Amber wrote @

Cordie, You are the conductor girlfriend. The ride stops when you say it does. Its that simple.

I truly don’t know you other than from your blog. What I do know is that you are strong, beautiful, and far too good for this. Far far far too good for this. Wipe your feet girlfriend.

Remember, one door closes, another opens..

Love, Amber

  paisley wrote @

i just this moment got off the phone with my sister.. our roller coaster relationship is with our parents who aer jehovahs witnesses .. i could not help but send this off to her straight away.. you could not have said more,, or direted more perfect words into this exact moment of my life… thank you cordie…

after years of rides,, on numerous different intimate relationship roller coasters,, i am currently sticking to the dodge ’em cars myself!!!!!

  Hayden Tompkins wrote @

” F…. me once, shame on you . . . F….. me twice, three, four. . . . shame on me! ”

It’s because we, despite the evidence of our experience, hope that THIS TIME will be different.

My heart is with you.

  SanityFound wrote @

Loves you big sis, you just hang in there oks. You know most of my life, you know the roller coaster I was put on at birth. Our rides are different and yet they are similar in their constant barrage of soul torments. Each twist, each turn brings us more. Those dips can get very deep and dark as we plunge towards the ground but the views that we get when we reach the very top, those views would you replace them with level mundane ground?
I don’t know why I had to tell you this but I am just following my gut. For every down you will be ensured a high of equal opposite. With out those depths one can never see the true view.

Right, who messed with you, I want names sent to my inbox including their address and numbers… I know someone that knows someone that knows someone else that knows a hitman… no jokes…

Sending you the biggest of big hugs!

  cordieb wrote @

@SanityFound. I tell you the ups and downs of life is what makes life eh? Hit man huh . .. . I’ll keep that in mind. LOL really, really hard! Now I know someone that knows someone that knows some that knows some one that knows someone else that knows a hit man! Six degrees of separation – wow! lol PLL, CordieB.

  lostwidow wrote @

Man cordie
how are you always in my head? I just got done ranting and raving over the same stuff, girl! thanks for the link too… I mean its just like when ya think the rest of your life is good enough to start messin with someone, boy do they mess with you. And liek someone above said, ya ALWAYS think, this time…. but now thats just the definition of insanity, ya know… BTW I just learned who came up with that definition… you know who? well, i’m not gonna tell ya… gotta lv ya hangin on that one, maybe it’ll spur some new thought in your head once ya figure it out… if ya dont alreayd know.
Anyhew, I’m with ya, sis… lets keep our heads up and feet planted and see if we don’t find someone on our level doin that, someday.
peace n prayers

  lostwidow wrote @

ps my new myspace status message says “girls rule, boys drool” lol MUAH!

  cordieb wrote @

@Amber. I know girlfriend. . . I am the conductor! Love is so hard at times . . .should not be, but such as life! Thanks for the ear so many times! PLL, CordieB

@Paisley. I hope your sister enjoys it! Under all the flesh, we all have emotions that are so similar . . . I can relate . . . I thought after 40 emotions ceased . . I was wrong . . Dodge em cars . . . I need one of those . . . lol

@PI. “It’s because we, despite the evidence of our experience, hope that THIS TIME will be different. ” Ain’t that the truth. Cluck me on the head. . . perhaps I’ll awaken! lol. PLL, Cordieb.

@lostwidow. “BTW I just learned who came up with that definition… you know who? ” Girlfriend, you can’t leave me hanging like that. . . .! I’ll track you down! lol Who was it ? Sis . . we gotta keep our heads up! So true! Thanks for the inspiratin and love! Peace!

  vanessaleighsblog wrote @

Hey Cordie girl: Fantastic post today; I am totally blown away…..the TJ Jakes quote I have actually posted about on my blog; he really is an amazing man. Amber is so right and so true; you are the conductor, so get the hell off this ride!!! W

  vanessaleighsblog wrote @

I didn’t get to finish my comment…. get off this ride, I always like the merry go round myself, and I actually have ridden on one where I get to catch the brass ring; it is slow and steady and there is music, and I can either go up and down or stay still; it is MY CHOICE. You deserve that as well…….. I agree, if someone wants to walk, let ’em walk………. the lessons will still come…..

[…] yes.  Makes me wonder what Advice I’d like to give the younger me, would I be able to understand The Heaven-Hell Love-Hate Rollercoaster Ride let alone the Definition of MANAGEMENT? Hmm the latter I doubt I ever will… Ladies, lets just […]

  Author wrote @

Listen to the sound of your own tapping – your instinct – it will never let you down. Trust yourself to make the right decisions for yourself. You know more than you think you do.

Peace and love.

  cordieb wrote @

@Author. Your words ring out so truthfully. I’ve got to get back to taking pictures; I miss it too – My internet connection has been limited (only at work); but I really miss sharing with you guys. Peace and Love to you too!

  cordieb wrote @

@Vanessa. I know what you mean. I’m getting too old for thrill rides, personally. I prefer the more calm rides; those ones that allow us to see the beauty of the world and appreciate it; not those rides that make everything appear bleary, if you know what I mean. Thanks dearest for your loving words! PLL, CordieB.

  Duma Key wrote @

Funny how times in life things stumble into your path, reading this whilst rding my own roller coaster and wondering what is best in a situation that sits, makes me think more. May be words from which I will draw as I try to stablise my life!

Speak Now; but don't forever hold your peace!

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