Looking in the Mirror

Spiritual Revelations for those seeking Humanity in Humans ~~CordieB.

The Perpetrator and the Victim

I read the following statement this week – It’s a very controversial and sensitive subject.  What are your views on this ?. . . .

“It is very tempting to take the side of the perpetrator. All the perpetrator asks is that the bystander do nothing. He appeals to the universal desire to see, to hear, and to speak no evil. The victim, on the contrary, asks the bystander to share the burden of pain. The victim demands action, engagement, and remembering.”—Judy Herman


  brightlightwarriornika wrote @

ummmm good one! Is anyone ever the victim?

  Glenn wrote @

I don’t believe people side with the perpetrator as much as they do against the system. They question the validity of many convictions, and with good reason. A few examples why:

– In recent decades, innocent people have been convicted of crimes they didn’t commit and landed up in prison, some on Death Row, and some even executed there.

– We keep hearing over and over again, how it is more important for prosecutors to win then seek the truth. And when evidence arises that is exculpatory after a person is already in prison, these same prosecutors fight against the innocent inmates getting another day in court. After all, it is more important to protect their “track records” than do the right thing. My primary example is the asshole DA in in the bogus Duke rape case. Even though they were eventually cleared legally, those poor athletes had to leave Duke and there will always be doubts of their innocence by some wherever they go. This is because the average American is a complete moron.

– Speaking of which, juries are comprised of the same naive, gullible Americans that are sold on putting a dimwit like Bush in office. They are easily persuaded by emotional appeals by the DA, who lacks both physical evidence or witnesses. The name that stands out for me is Rubin Carter, “The Hurricane,” who was wrongly convicted and kept in prison 20 years for a triple murder he didn’t commit by a jury in Patterson , New Jersey — historically the most racist town in that state. Fortunately his conviction came during the four-year hiatus on executions declared by the Supreme Court, otherwise he would have died in the electric chair.

– And then there’s the whole issue of the Death Penalty and how the families of the victims scream for revenge, which does indeed turn decent people off. I think of Nessa Moscowitz, whose daughter was killed by David Berkowitz, “The Son of Sam,” in 1976. When I recently saw her on Larry King, who interviewed Berkowitz in prison a year ago and explained he was psychotic at the time of his rampage and has been on medication for years and serving other prisoners as a chaplain’s assistant, she started yelling with the same venom she did 30 years ago. She still wanted him executed. So how can one feel compassion for an unforgiving, raging bitch like that? Mind you, everyone felt bad for the true victim, her daughter Stacy, but nobody likes a perpetually-angry person like her mother — especially when that anger is still present three decades after the fact.

  SanityFound wrote @

Its the paradigm to life – the perpetrator wants silence so that they do not feel the shame of what they have done and the “victim” wants it to be heard so that it is not repeated on them or anyone else…

  Sorrow wrote @

I can not imagine a place where those two do not dance.
An interesting quote/query..

  enreal wrote @

Cordie… indeed these words are full. I suppose that is where strength lies… for most would not chose to take the side of the perpetrator, yet fail to carry the burden of the victim… we speak our intentions yet carry them no further…

Very interesting indeed

  cordieb wrote @

Thanks everyone for your input! I enjoyed everyone’s input – and respect you much for speaking on this. Here’s my cut . . .

Interesting that Bright Light Warrior Nika wrote, “is anyone ever a victim” I would have to say, yes there are times when people are victims as defined by standard terms. Adults who never fight back or choose to live in situations in which they are contstantly victimised when they have alternatives are not, in my opinion, victims. They are co-conspirators of their own demise. Also, once we conquer our circumstance – we are no longer a victim but a survivor! A conquerer! Power to the Survivor!!

Glenn gave us the scenario in which the powers that be drives individuals to embrace the perpetrator; in that case, I would have to say the perpetrator has now taken on the victim’s role. He or she is now being perped by the Powers that Be.

Sanity Found feels that the perp want’s silence; due to shame; and the victim would like the scenario to be brought to light to prevent similar incidents. I agree, however, I doubt that the perp is shamed; I would imagine that he needs silence simply so he, she or it can continue doing what they do without retaliation and/or retribution. Most perps do not consider their actions inappropriate – they have a real good reason for doing it.

Sorrow and Enreal – Both of you see these dualities as they are; for we all have been in the victim’s role and we all have been in the perps role in one way or another. If we are growing spiritually, we will see ourselves in these situations lesser and lesser, and we will certainly not feel the same about the situations as we once did. – for we draw to us on the outside that which our thoughts keep telling us about ourselves. If we feel as though we are victims, we will draw to us people and circumstances in which we might be very real victims. As adults, once we get ourselves into these conditions – is it not our responsibility to at least try to get ourselves out without contstantly recruiting others to join in our agony – especially if the event is long ago past? How many people do we know, including ourselves, who are really survivors – not at all victims. Yet, we talk of and reminise these stories as if we are victims! If we want to live in the now – we must stop having a victim mentality for things that are far in the past and for which we have conquered! We are survivors!!!. For in believing we are victims, we often then become the perpetrator.

Peace, Light and Love

  gypsy-heart wrote @

“we must stop having a victim mentality for things that are far in the past and for which we have conquered! We are survivors!!!. For in believing we are victims, we often then become the perpetrator.”

Wise words CordieB! We give the perpetrator power over us if we keep dwelling in the past, and we become our own poison if we continue playing the victims role.

Thank you for a thought provoking post.

Peace, Light and Love to you too!

  Grace wrote @

smiling here… 🙂 Great post, Cordie…

Isn’t it funny, what people do? They experience an event in which they were once truly ‘victimized’. And then – by recounting the experience over and over and over again – they victimize themselves! over and over and over again.

“Victim” and “Perpetrator” are simply different sides of the same coin, aren’t they? And there is never a ‘them’, that isn’t also a ‘me’.


  Cardiogram wrote @

Somehow i missed the point. Probably lost in translation 🙂 Anyway … nice blog to visit.

cheers, Cardiogram!

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