Looking in the Mirror

Spiritual Revelations for those seeking Humanity in Humans ~~CordieB.

Life will work for me when I realize . . . I have everthing I need within me to create everthing I want out there

What is the difference between joy and happiness?  What is the difference between knowing and believing?  Wht is the difference between love and pleasure?  Joy, knowing and love are what you feel.  Happiness, believing and pleasure are ways you think.  The former are all internal experiences.  The latter are responses to external events.  The former are things over which you have control through the power of your mind.  The latter are experiences through which you can be controlled by events and people!

If you are waiting for something to happen that will make you happy, chances are you are killing off your joy.  Joy comes through you.  Happiness comes to you!  If you seek your joy within, you will be happy, no matter what is going around you.  When you know you will be protected, guided and blessed, it is easy to believe in more than what you can see.  If you only believe what you can see around you, you may miss the blessings that are right under your nose.  If you have and hold love in your heart, you will always know what to do and what to say.  If you measure out how much love to give, you will undoubtedly meet people and situations who have a reflective measure of love for you.  Nothing can hapen for you in the outside world until you create the energy to attract it to and through your inside world. 

Until Today, you may have misssed the little differences that coudl make a big difference in your life.  Just for today, be devoted to developing a strong inner life that can create a better outer life.  In prayer and meditation ask to experiece joy, knwoing and love, knowing that once you ask, you will receive!

~Inyanla Vanzant

Yesterday, I became so off track that I was still off track this morning.  Now, I’m usually very even tempered, and try to see the good side of everthing in life and people.  But yesterday, some people really pissed me off.  In retrospect, I shouldn’t have gotten so angry.  Also, the people responsible for my anger have no idea of the gravity of the anger I had.  (They will, if they ever read this, however.)

Now as a female, we tend to let relationship issues tick us off more so than any thing else.  We can deal with unruly children, pestering neighbors, lazy co-workers, incompentent managers, idiodic family members, fu-ked up friends, you name it.  But as soon as someone does something that we perceive as being disrespectful, flirtatious, etc, when pertaining to our man, we loose our cool composition points; or is it just me?

My friend/coworker (who doesn’t have a man of her own)  finds it her appointed duty to ride with my man and tell him everything  about her, including her sex life, lack of sex life, home life etc.  Mind you, we all work for the same agency.  Now, being that his job requires him to ensure that she has transportation to her vehicle after work, it’s really no big deal, right?  After all everyone chats, talks about their lives while riding, etc.   Also, they are friends, too. . .Right?  But when you have to ride around the post over and over, still yacking, and telling my man all of your intimate secrets, making him swear to secrecy on a stack of bibles, after a while it starts pissing me off.   Hell, I wonder what his response would be if I rode around with one of his croneys?   How many secrets do you plan on telling my man not to tell me!   I know the shit is childish; but I was just rubbed wrong yesterday, and still am, as you may see from the tone of this post. 

Ok.  Here is the part that broke the campbell’s back.  I get in the van to ride around because I have something that I want to talk to my man about.  Mind you, we are all friends–he and she more so than she and I.   I realize that he has given her one of our last ciggerettes, and she makes it a point to let me know that she rode off the installation with him to go fuel the vehicle.  Ok.  I try not to show my contempt, I’m hoping that the steam coming from my ears is not too thick. 

So, I make up casual conversation and friendly inquiries, asking about the kids, the job, and whatever.   But, evidently, I couldn’t fake the funk good enough.  She must have seen the steam coming from my ears or else she heard the toot toot sound muffled in my throat.

Here’s the kicker.  Once she’s on her way home, she calls my man back, upset, (almost in tears he says) because she senses that I may have had an ATTITUDE.    He said she sounded like she was about to cry, and said she wasn’t going to ride with him anymore, and she needed the exercise anyway, because she didn’t want to start any trouble–and we (me and her) are friends.  

BULLSHIT.  Now you can bullshit some of the people some of the time, and most of the people some of the time, and some of the people most of the time, but you can NEVER pull bullshit over me when it comes to my man!

(1)  If I’m your friend, you wouldn’t constantly tell my man your secrets, and say dont’ tell me.

(2)  I wouldn’t dream of riding around with a friend’s man, yacking and yacking.  That shit just ain’t kosher.

(3)  I’m beginning to think that perhaps she gets a kick out of this drama – being that she made it a point to point out that they had to go off post.  That’s not Friendship.  That’s Bullship.

(4)  If she felt I had a problem with the riding, she should have approached me with her sob phoney story about not riding anymore because she sensed I was upset. 

Anyway. . . .   (haaa. . . . . . . I’m exhaling now)  I feel better now.   I’m experiencing joy, knowing and love and no one can take that or give that to me except myself, because it’s internal. 

 Peace, Light and Love to you and yours. . . .

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5 Comments»

  persistentillusion wrote @

The reason her ‘being friends’ with him is so foul is that she is being intimate with him and sharing intimate details of her life.

A lot of men don’t like confrontation, nor would it occur to them that they need to tell this women to back off. It seems harmless and it doesn’t mean anything, so why bother?

Well, they should bother because establishing intimacy is the first step to a ROMANTIC relationship. That is why so many people end up cheating with a coworker; all those opportunities to share intimacy, emotions, and feelings.

If they were friend before you guys got together than you kind of just have to deal with it. That’s the way you found him. If, however, this started after you guys were dating than you should have a with your man about setting boundaries with other women.

Anyway, good luck! It sounds like he means well and cares about you, which is the most important part of the whole thing.

  cordieb wrote @

@Persistant Illusion. Thanks PI. I did meet him through her; so I guess I’ll have to deal with it. She’s still upset because we didn’t tell her our intimate details when we first met. Shes’ the drama queen type; and I think he enjoys hearing all that drama. I just have little patience for it most of the time, because she doesn’t realize that she brings most of it on herself. She’s cool though–very caring, helpful and all. She just likes to gossip a little too much for my patience. Also, I don’t think she understands the dynamics of friendship when it comes to dealing with a friend’s partner. Also, she evidenly doesn’t realize that secrets are always shared in pillow talk–but hey, you didn’t hear that from me.(smile)

  dontbesadblog wrote @

Peace be upon you CordieB,

Its was good of you to invite me to your blog- a curious post–

I trust you have managed to see that your comments at Dont be sad have been responded to and that you are now a member of the Dont be sad network.

Kind regards–

Dont be sad

  cordieb wrote @

@dontbesadblog. Thanks for visiting. As fate would have it, you caught me on a most sad blog day. But all is well. Please do visit again . . . I’m usually quite positive. I left some ideas on random acts of kindness. Smile.

Peace, Light and Love, CordieB.

  lostwidow wrote @

i love how you dealt with anger on this OMGIrl! o and i loved the – ‘thats not friendship thats bullship! lol i think i “HA-d” out loud even! does make us feel better to let it out sometimes, huh?
and i’m sure you know this but yeah shes not trying to make drama- she is the queen! anyway thanks for dropping in this weekend I’ve been outta the house since sunday so… anyway off ta blog myself, lateron =]


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