Looking in the Mirror

Spiritual Revelations for those seeking Humanity in Humans ~~CordieB.

Twelve Days of Christmas

The Twelve Days of Christmas
The Twelve Days of Christmas is probably the most misunderstood part of the church year among Christians who are not part of liturgical church traditions. Contrary to much popular belief, these are not the twelve days before Christmas, but in most of the Western Church are the twelve days from Christmas until the beginning of Epiphany  (January 6th; the 12 days count from December 25th until January 5th). In some traditions, the first day of Christmas begins on the evening of December 25th with the following day considered the First Day of Christmas (December 26th). In these traditions, the twelve days begin December 26 and include Epiphany on January 6.

For more information on this tradition, visit http://www.cresourcei.org/cy12days.html

Last year my brother (Mr. Romantic) sent his girl friend (at that time) a traditional gift, based on the origin of the Twelve Gifts of Christmas.  Following is the replies to each of the 12 gifts: For sake of privacy, the names and addresed have been omitted.

 Miss Sara Truelove
Somewhere, USA

December 26

Dearest Bill:
I went to the door today and the postman delivered a partridge in a pear tree. What a wonderful thoughtful gift! I couldn’t have been more surprised.

With deepest Love and Devotion,

Sara
——————————————————————————–
 Miss Sara Truelove
Somewhere, USA

December 27

Dearest Bill:
Today the postman brought your most wonderful gift. Just imagine – two turtle doves! I’m delighted at your very sweet gift. They are just adorable. I will have to get a cage for them.

With deepest Love,

Sara
——————————————————————————–
 Miss Sara Truelove
Somewhere, USA

December 28

Dearest Bill:
Oh! Your third gift arrived! You really went too far, I think. I don’t deserve such generosity – three French hens. They are just lovely, but I must protest – you’ve been way too kind.

Love,
Sara
——————————————————————————–
 Miss Sara Truelove
Somewhere, USA

December 29
Dearest Bill:
Today the postman delivered four calling birds. Now, really, they’re quite nice, but now I have 10 birds and nowhere to put any more….so please, no more birds!! But, thanks.

Affectionately,
Sara
——————————————————————————–
 Miss Sara Truelove
Somewhere, USA

December 30

Dearest Bill:
What a surprise! Another present….and not a bird this time! Wow! Today the postman delivered five golden rings, one for each finger. You’re just too extravagant, but I love it! Frankly, all those birds squawking were beginning to get on my nerves, but the rings are wonderful…and so quiet!!

All my love,
Sara
——————————————————————————–
 Miss Sara Truelove
Somewhere, USA

December 31

Dear Bill:
When I opened the door there were actually six geese a-laying on my front steps. So you’re back to the birds again, huh? Those geese are huge! And it was bird poop that they were laying..complete with a large count of coloform bacteria. Where will I ever keep them? The neighbors are complaining. The police came by with a formal complaint, and I can’t sleep through all the racket. I guess I have my own noise-makers for the new years eve celebration tonight.

Please stop. NO MORE BIRDS!!

Cordially,
Sara
——————————————————————————–
 Miss Sara Truelove
Somewhere, USA

January 1
Bill:

Happy New Year…to some people. It hasn’t been so happy with me. What’s with you and those dumb birds? Seven swans a-swimming. What kind of practical joke is this? There’s bird guana all over the house and they never stop squawking. I could not sleep all night and I’m a nervous wreck. You have gone too far, bird brain. STOP SENDING BIRDS. NO MORE BIRDS!! GOT IT?

Sincerely,
Sara
——————————————————————————–
 Miss Sara Truelove
Somewhere, USA

January 2

OK, WISE GUY:
I think I prefer the birds over this. What am I going to do with eight maids a-milking? It’s not enough with all those birds and eight maids a-milking, but they had to bring their cows. Have you ever smelled a yard full of cow patties? Their piles are all over the lawn, and I can’t move in my own house. Leave me alone. NO MORE OF YOUR “GIFTS”.

Sara
——————————————————————————–
 Miss Sara Truelove
Somewhere, USA

January 3

Hey, Vacuum-for-a-brain:
What are you? Some kind of freak? Now there’s nine ladies dancing…right in the smelly you-know-what and tracking it all over my house. The way they’ve been bickering with the milk maids, I hesitate to even call them ladies. You’ll get yours, buddy.
Sara
——————————————————————————–
 Miss Sara Truelove
Somewhere, USA

January 4

You rotten piece of cow patty:
What’s with the ten lords a-leaping? I have threatened to break their legs so that they can never leap again. All 23 of the birds are dead. They’ve been trampled to death by the leapers, the dancers, and the cows. At least, I don’t have to worry about them any more. However, the cows are mooing all night having gotten diarrhea. My living room is a sewer! The City Commissioner has subpoenaed me to give cause why my house shouldn’t be condemned.

I’m filing a complaint to the police about you!

One who means it.
——————————————————————————–
 Miss Sara Truelove
Somewhere, USA

January 5

Listen, brainless:
Now there’s eleven pipers piping. And they never stop piping…except when they’re chasing those maids or dancing girls. The cows are getting very upset and are sounding worse than the birds ever did. What am I going to do? There is a petition going around to evict me from the neigborhood.

I hope you’re satisfied, you rotten, vicious swine.

Your sworn enemy,
Sara
——————————————————————————–
 Law Offices
Sue, Pillage, and Plunder
1313 Grunge St
Somewhere, USA

January 6

Dear Sir:
This is to acknowledge your latest gift of twelve drummers drumming which you have seen fit to inflict on our client, Miss Sara Truelove. The damage, of course, was total. She was found beating her head against the wall to the beat of the twelve drums. If you should attempt to reach Miss Truelove at Happy Glen Sanitarium, the attendants have instructions to shoot you on sight. With this letter please find attached a warrant for your arrest.

Cordially,
Law Firm of
Sue, Pillage, and Plunder

With all the commercialism attached to Christmas, which often cause added stress and anxiety, I thought I’d start off the 12 Days prior to Christmas with a little humor to lighten your spirits.   Don’t forget what Christmas is all about; and pass on the true meaning to those who may not know.

Love and Peace to You and Your’s throughout the season and beyond.

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1 Comment»

  johnnypeepers wrote @

Thank you so much for the truly kind words. It means a lot to me to receive positive feedback. I only started this blog a week ago and your comment made the effort worthwhile. I am glad you found the posts amusing and captivating.

I trust that you caught onto the parodic nature of my persona. By creating a bigger than life character, I am able to engage a larger audience. Subtly I plan to demonstrate the goodness of johnnypeepers and his ultimate transformation.

Please check in from time to time. Again, it means a lot to be appreciated for one’s work. I can tell you are a kind soul.

johnnypeepers

“You have to be yourself, everybody else is already taken” – Oscar Wilde


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